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Quiet Time

    by Kasia Kedzia

Pause on Purpose
Date Posted: November 1, 2011

I’ve been taking the time to pause in a given moment and not allow my thoughts to run away or plow-over the moment. Sometimes, I can overthink all the fun out of the present as I allow my thoughts to wonder down some hypothetical scenario. I can question my own abilities and talents. This week has been different and as a result I have felt so much more alive and content. When I’ve been tempted to worry or get anxious I’ve asked myself, “What truth could help me overcome this?” The two truths I return to often are:

1. God does not withhold: Psalm 84:11 “For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.”

2. He always works for my ultimate good: Ro8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” If it is not in my ultimate best interest it won’t happen and that’s ok.

2 Chronicles 15:2b “The Lord is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you...”

If I want to use what God has given me to the utmost potential there are pitfalls I must look out for like competitiveness/comparison; overly seeking acceptance; overly showcasing my gift or talent, or getting defensive. All these are rooted in selfishness. God calls me to have a pure confidence in my abilities. Pure confidence is a healthy level of intelligent self-respect and recognition of ones strengths that is not affected by circumstances because it is rooted in God. It’s a sober acknowledgment that the talent is a gift from God just like the color of my eyes or texture of my hair. Godly confidence won’t allow circumstances to distort one’s gifts. When I allow my gift to be distorted, I stand to render it useless. The conversion can look like this: a charismatic person becomes manipulative, a determined person inflexible, a dedicated person a workaholic, a decisive person becomes hasty or paralyzed with second-guessing. If we are not careful we can easily allow a skewed perspective or wrong motives to turn our strengths against us, but if we take time to pause we can catch this in time and reconfigure.

Ps119:36-37 Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.

I’ve focused a lot on pausing and checking my motives lately. I’ve also tried to be more deliberate in considering situations for what they are against the two truths I mentioned above. It’s freed me to see and embrace my purpose and talents with a healthy confidence. It has also allowed me to remain content despite circumstances.

Ps119:76 May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant.

If I allow myself to get caught up in the hypothetical or in the circumstantial I stand to distort my gifts. I distort them by overcompensating or being paralyzed from using them all together. An example would be, focusing on what others have and begin to compete or compare myself with them. By doing so I miss out on the lot God has given me now. I risk setting wrong goals, taking someone’s disagreement with my ideas personally, or potentially becoming hyper aware of what others are doing instead of focusing on what’s right for me. Even if God has the same thing in mind for me as for someone else, it may come in a different package. He set out a path for me and I must consider His way.

Pv 3:21-23 preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble.

When I take the time to pause my purpose becomes clear and I can be devoted to my own progress. I can be brilliant and modest as I embrace humility and acknowledge that there is always room for growth. I can take the time to consider my thoughts before they turn to words or actions. So instead of walking into a room looking to impress or protect myself, I walk in looking to give and make a meaningful contribution. I look for opportunities to use what God has given me for his glory and simultaneously I thrive because I am able to do and use what gives me the most joy, the very thing he has given me. At the end of the day progress takes on momentum and momentum is comprised of multiple moments that shift in a direction that produces changes. It doesn't have to be the majority of the moments, just enough to get it moving.

Ps119:130 The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.

Ps138:8 The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever –

1Cor10:33 “For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.”

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Biography Information:
Gods brought me a long way from the New York City Housing Projects. I studied the Bible, repented, and was baptized for the forgiveness of my sins when I was 17 and have been repenting and striving towards heaven ever since. The hardest thing about becoming a Christian at 17 was trusting that God would take care of me, meet my emotional teen needs, and help me overcome my enormous insecurity...what else would a teen girl have trouble with?

Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved  to DC  to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.

Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.

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