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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
Timing can be frustrating. I wait for something to happen and it seems to take forever or suddenly an event is thrust upon me, catching me by surprise. Believing that things happen too slowly or too quickly is an illusion. God's timing is perfect.
Rm 5:6 “You see, at just the right time, when we were still sinners, Christ died for the ungodly. "
I wonder if He laughs at me sometimes when I bring a particular circumstance or desire before him, as though he is not working in every single moment, even the ones I tend to overlook. He sets things into motion when we are absolutely oblivious to it. That child you will adopt is born, the perfect job you want, that company is started. The man you prayed for since you were a little girl becomes a Christian. I can see but a fraction of how God works in his perfect timing. Because of my limited vision I can get anxious and impatient. But I know that His timing is far better than mine, as Romans 5:6 states, he sent Jesus at the right time, for me.
Rm 15:3 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
The nature of God's timing requires me to trust. I need to trust in order to allow myself to hope. Sometimes the way is not clear. I'm not certain what my next step should be, what it will look like, what direction I'm headed. Or worse, in my arrogance, I think I know the exact direction and what it will look like, leaving no room for God to work. This is the time God calls me to stop, ask for guidance, and be still. He calls me to step out on faith and not just rely on my own abilities. He calls me to be still and hand over the fear and confusion I feel to Him. The path will show itself, it always does.. I don't have to know right now. I will know in time – God’s time. Therefore,I can let go and Trust Him.
Is 25:1 " O Lord, I will honor and praise your name, for you are my God. You do such wonderful things! You planned them long ago, and how you have accomplished them."
God calls me to focus on his will more than my agenda. In recent months I put my heart before God in a way I had not done before, but I did so with a contingency plan, or three. I brought what I wanted before God but paralleled my offering with bargaining. When I bargain with God it sounds like this, "God, I will wait patiently for your answer on this but as I wait I am also going to pursue other options so if your answer is no I have something to fall back on, something to cushion the blow, something else to take comfort in." What this really translates to is, "God I really don't trust you will grant me this, or protect my heart if the outcome isn't what I want it to be, so I am going to figure out a way to shield my own heart instead of trusting you completely."
Psalm 84:11 "For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right."
God's timing is controlled by his compassion and it is out of that compassion that he calls me to focus on His will over my own agenda. God's goal is not to break my heart or disappoint me, if something is not meant for me it is because it is not for my ultimate good. There is no mistake I can make that he cannot fix.
As I embark on a new chapter in my life he is only revealing small pieces at a time, of where I should go and how I should proceed. In my mind, I want a manual but that's not how God works. He gives us the basic instructions, His Word, but he leaves just enough ambiguity in the everyday to gently push us into his arms for guidance instead of tackling it all on our own. Day by day, he is showing me that his timing is perfect and his plan is always worth the wait.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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