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Stress is yet another way fear manifests itself in my life. When I stress out I get anxious and my controlling nature emerges in full force. In my life stress can often be the result of trying to control a situation which I can not handle. In my case, God provides plenty of such situations. Sometimes I think he just likes to see me squirm, but then I realize it’s just his way of pushing me to have more faith.

Mark4:38-41 (NIV) 35That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." 36Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"
39He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
40He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

As I read Mark4:38-41 one verse struck me like it had not in the past. All in all I think my reaction would have been the same as the disciples, but what softened my heart was reading verse 39. Jesus’ first reaction was to address their fear! He saw that they were stressing out and out of control and even though their faithlessness in that moment hurt him, the very first thing he did was calm the storm, meet their needs, and comfort them.

I have returned to this verse and it has returned to me many times this week. It is so humbling to think that in my anxiety and stressful or fearful state Jesus is working on taking care of me despite my faithlessness. Now don’t get me wrong, I did read verse 40 and I know he does and will always address the faithlessness, but his heart and nature is to love me and take care of me first and that very act, ultimately, is what restores my faith and peace.

So when I’m not sure what the future holds and I can’t control my circumstances, when I step out on faith, but still have doubts based on what I can not see- I stress out and panic. In these moments I can lash out at others, I can become emotional, I can be tempted to rely on myself and push others away. Stress robs me of peace and can damage my relationships.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face… You must do the thing you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

To change my mindset I return to Philippians 4:6-8. I have to transform my concerns into prayers. Prayer equips me to look fear in the face and by the grace of God do the things I don’t think I can do- like be patient, have faith and be vulnerable through out the entire process. Needless to say I have seen where my lack of prayer has resulted in poor choices and hurtful words. On the other hand when I have taken the time to truly give things over to God and reveal my heart to him, it allowed me to be more vulnerable and as a result release the stress. I guess I’m still learning not to try and squirm out of Gods hand and slip out through his fingers, but instead be secure and content right in the palm of his hand.

“If God has you in the palm of his hand and your real life is secure in him, then you can venture forth – into the places and relationships, the challenges, the very heart of the storm – and you will be safe there.”[1]

[1] Rinehart Paula, Strong Women Soft Heart, W Publishing Group, 2001, p182

"'Winging It" from Stan Smith

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