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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
We need tension to stretch and grow. However, how I respond and engage that tension is very important. To learn from the experiences I am faced with I must be willing to go through it completely. This includes acknowledging the emotions the experience invokes. As I juggled multiple changes in my life my first response was one of optimism. However, as time went on I encountered the pressure of not dealing with the things I was feeling. Keeping things in perspective is important, but acknowledging what I feel through it all is crucial.
2 Chronicles 16:9 For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.
In the past I have given into my emotions and let them overtake me or I have numbed them completely. This had to change. Sometimes I feel weak and inadequate or simply overwhelmed. Relying on God’s strength does not mean denying my feelings, fears and being artificially optimistic. It means being willing to fall apart before God and allowing Him to comfort me. My feelings are legitimate and I must acknowledge them. When the emotions well up inside me I cannot act like they are not there. I can either give into them allowing them to rule me, or I can acknowledge them and work through them with God and others.
Hbk 3:17-19 Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vine, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food […] yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength [ my personal bravery, and my invincible army]
Once I have a good cry, let the emotions out and shared them with close friends I am able to work through them. Recently, I made a career change and suffered a loss in my family. As I filled out emergency contact forms, each one bearing the name of whoever happened to be available at the time I felt a wave of loneliness. It was hard not have that one constant contact, the family member or significant other to place in that spot. When things don’t go according to my plan God is still Sovereign. He is my personal hero. I can share my fears and feelings with Him. It’s ok to feel anxious, sad or afraid.
Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
God finds value in every situation I live through. He loves me unconditionally. He sees where I am and where I am going. He treats me with the end in mind. Since I cannot see this end I will sometimes feel fear, angst and the longing pull of my hopes. Part of the growing and stretching experience is giving my cares over to God. In order to truly give these cares over to Him I must be willing to be in touch with what they are. To experience God’s comfort I must be willing to feel and say out loud even the scary painful things.
Psm 30:11-12You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent, O Lord my God, I will give my thanks forever.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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