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Quiet Time

    by Kasia Kedzia

Thats Just How It Is
Date Posted: July 11, 2006

God determines who walks into your life- it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

For the past few months I have slowly pulled my heart back and my friendship away from someone who once meant a great deal to me. This has been a result of their self-destructive patterns as well as hurtful behavior towards me. It’s been hard.   

I am not the kind of friend who makes excuses for the ill behavior of others. I do not condone self pity nor self centeredness.  I tell my friends the truth even if it hurts. I refuse to make excuses for their sin as they hurt me, themselves, and worst of all our God.

You know you are in a bad place when the people around you become complacent about your sin. What I mean by this is that you’re in trouble in your walk with God when people start saying things like, “well, that’s just how s/he is” in reference to your character or behavior. 

My concern for one of my friends had grown as I had seen other people around her make this statement. She herself has acknowledged that she can push people away, yet those close to her seem to accept this and excuse it instead of challenge it and help her through it. Those who have challenged it or chose not to let her take advantage of them have “fallen along the way side” as friends and are cut out of her life. How does this attitude driven by fear and mistrust glorify God? It does not. An attitude that says “they can come after me or they can leave” is a selfish one. If they stick around long enough and prove themselves are they then good enough? Thank God we never have to prove ourselves to him, thank God for his grace and mercy and unconditional love. He accepts us and loves us and never makes us jump through hoops. He calls us to do the same.

If I were being selfish, neglectful, and hurtful to others, if there was a pattern of this behavior through out my relationships, I would hope it would raise a red flag for those around me. I would want them to confront me on my behavior and even more so address the heart behind it. I would never want my friends to accept this or get used to it. After all we are ambassadors of Christ – We are called to a higher standard. (2Cor5:20)

For example, if my behavior was physically harming people no one would dare to make excuses for me.  Can you imagine- I punch someone in the face and my friend says, “Oh, well you know Kasia just reacts like that sometimes.  She really cares for you though, don’t take it personally.” Hopefully, no one would ever let me get away with that. Yet if it is more covert, if the hurt I inflict is not as blatant is it any less serious?

I have done all that I can to warn this friend, and make her aware of her actions by expressing how they have made me feel. Her pride is quite strong however. I fear that this friend may end up very much alone or worse yet leave God altogether some day as a result of her pride. When we are prideful we not only battle our number one enemy the devil, we also battle ourselves and, worst of all, when we are prideful God also is against us. Just look at King Manasseh in 2Chron33:1-11.  

What I am learning as a result of this lost friendship is to surrender those I care for in increasing measure to God in prayer.  I am learning to speak the truth in love, even if it means hurting the listener or being perceived as emotional or too sensitive (2Cor7:8).  I am also learning to let go and see that sometimes it is only God who can work; he will humble those who need to be humbled. No matter how bad our pride gets we can always humble out, or be humbled by God which is no pleasant experience- just look at what happens to King Manasseh in 2Chron33:11. King Manasseh did some of the worst things against God ever recorded in the bible due to his pride. Yet, when he was humbled by God and called out to Him, God was moved by his prayer and not only restored him as king, but blessed him immensely (2Chron33:12-20).

God determines who walks into our life- it's up to that person to decide who they let walk away, who they let stay, and who they refuse to let go. And if they chose to push us away there is no reason to try and waste our energy to hold on. There are many in need of our love and friendship and many who desire it – those are the people who we must give to. Those who are fighting God and us must be left to their battle sometimes, as there is nothing we can do for them but pray.

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Biography Information:
Gods brought me a long way from the New York City Housing Projects. I studied the Bible, repented, and was baptized for the forgiveness of my sins when I was 17 and have been repenting and striving towards heaven ever since. The hardest thing about becoming a Christian at 17 was trusting that God would take care of me, meet my emotional teen needs, and help me overcome my enormous insecurity...what else would a teen girl have trouble with?

Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved  to DC  to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.

Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.

Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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