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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
I’m at my launching point. The launching point is that moment when I must start acting on my goals. I have set some lofty goals for the next few months. I enrolled in a couple of different classes to help me grow in a couple of different areas of my life. I have decided to pursue my dream career. I decided to put my heart out there again and let go of past hurts. I have done all my goal setting and now I am left to act. This is the point where fear sets in - fear of failure and feeling overwhelmed.
Although I felt really excited about my new goals I quickly let myself feel overwhelmed. I got excited about sitting in my class but waited until the last minute to do the homework assignment which will help me to really practice and master the given subject. Granted, it has been a while since I took a class of any kind, but I do still remember that an ample amount of effort is required. I have done this with other goals in the past as well. I can start off really strong and excited but quickly let a few challenging moments or memories of past failures paralyze me with fear. I start to rely on what I can see. In those moments I don’t see the fear as an obstacle to overcome, but instead see it as an immovable wall. I let fear steal my faith.
Hebrews 11:7 (The Message) By faith, Noah built a ship in the middle of dry land. He was warned about something he couldn't see, and acted on what he was told. The result? His family was saved. His act of faith drew a sharp line between the evil of the unbelieving world and the rightness of the believing world. As a result, Noah became intimate with God.
God calls me to pair my faith with action. If I have faith that God will give me the job of my dreams, then I need to get my resume together and circulate it to organizations where I want to work. If I believe that I can become a better technical writer then I have to put in the work and spend the necessary time on homework assignments for my writing class. If I believe that God can perform miracles in my life, then I need to pray now that those miracles will take place.
My faith can be fueled by my faithful deeds but it can also be fueled by a healthy fear. I have been learning lately that in order to really see God work in my life I need to act more on my faith. I have also been learning what it means to have a healthy fear of God as a motivator. Noah’s actions were based on his faith in as well as his fear of God. He obeyed God because he feared God more than people. This fear was not one of cowardice, but rather one of respect. It is more like the healthy fear our parents can instill in us when we are young that demands their respect and prevents us from doing stupid things.
Philippians 2:12 (NLT) 12Dearest friends, you were always so careful to follow my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away you must be even more careful to put into action God's saving work in your lives, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. 13For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him.
Noah’s respect for God and his obedience resulted in faithful actions. This really struck me as I thought back to what areas of my life are hard for me to really be Godly in. It all came back to when I am alone. When I am around other people it is a lot easier to do the right thing. When I am alone and the motives are for me I can get complacent, fearful, or just plain lazy. These thoughts can stifle my actions and because in this particular case they don’t immediately affect anyone but me I can give into them. It is only when my obedience to God trumps myself that I am able to really do more. When I am my standard, I waver. My standard can change with my emotional state but God’s standard does not. When I am my standard I can get easily discouraged if I am rejected by a potential employer and not want to apply for more jobs. However, if God is my standard I am called to be secure in his love and to continue to persevere in faith, knowing that he will provide. If I am my standard after a long day I would much rather watch t.v. than do any sort of homework. When God is my standard I am called to do everything to the best of my ability for his glory. To overcome my fears I can use Godly fear as a motivator. To overcome my laziness I can remember that I am not guaranteed tomorrow. All I have is now. If I wait until tomorrow to act, then I may wait too late.
One of the most convicting passages of scripture on this subject is Matthew 26:69-75. It is the account of Peter denying Jesus right after he promised him he would never do so in Matthew 26:31-35. Actions speak louder than words. I can be motivated and talk a good game but words without action accomplish little if anything. My words need to be backed by my deeds and my deeds need to emulate God’s word. Jesus was the ultimate example of this. I still have moments of paralyzing fear but I am learning to surrender them for a better hope.
1John3:16,18 (NIV) 16This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 18Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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