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After much traveling and living abroad this past year I have returned to the U.S. It has been a difficult transition back. I often find myself being ‘homesick’ for Africa, especially on really cold days. Being back has been transitional for many reasons but one reason which has really stuck out to me over the past few weeks has been the simple fact that I have changed. I changed while I was living abroad and I liked the person I had become. Unfortunately, as soon as I got back I began to loose that person. It was as if all of my old fears and bad habits were just waiting for me at the door and jumped me the second I opened it! In my travels I was privileged to witness and experience a simplicity that is hard to describe or compare to the western world. The things that matter here didn’t matter there and vice versa.

Life in many places in this world is a lot simpler and people a lot less self focused. This simplicity and outward focus enabled me to be a lot more content and at peace. I was able to find and hold on to joy. As a result of seeing this in practice for so long it had become difficult to somehow revert back into a self focused and more complicated, usually self complicated, way of being. Hearing people complain or make ‘issues” out of non-issues stirred bitterness and anger inside me. I did not nor do I want to go back to that way of being. Nor do I want to be embittered by others who remain this way. I see that whether traveling continents, states or simply down the street my experiences and the people around me will influence my change. Whether it is for the good or the bad is always a choice. I chose to let my time in Africa influence and change me for the better and know I must choose to not let others diminish those changes but rather continue to build on them.

When I returned to a place of familiarity I have noticed two things can occur. The first is that it becomes a lot harder to fight to keep the new me in an old environment; it is a lot easier to get lazy and slip back into old ways, after all it’s not like anyone will notice. This has recently happened on a more large drastic scale returning into the country but it can happen on a smaller scale too, such as me getting back into my familiar warm bed instead of getting my butt up praying, reading and out the door in the morning! Second, it’s easier to get critical and embittered when seeing with new eyes than it is to try and teach or at the least try to convey the new lessons I learned to others.

Luke 9:62 (NIV) Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

I have read this verse many times before and I know I will return to it many more times. In order for me to hold on to the new person; new character and strengthened convictions I must not look back. I may have returned to a familiar place and the same fears and trials may be waiting at the door but I can face them as the new me and do not have to revert to old ways. The trials may still be the same but it is the person facing them and her approach, that can be different because of who God is in my life.

Psalm37:5-6 (Message) 5 Open up before GOD, keep nothing back; he'll do whatever needs to be done: 6 He'll validate your life in the clear light of day and stamp you with approval at high noon.

I’m not defined by my circumstances but by my relationship with God. God is the one who took me to Africa and allowed me to grow and he is the one that has brought me back. He will continue to work in my life beyond my surrounding circumstances.

"Today's Little Lift" from Jim Bullington

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