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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
It’s amazing what we are able to see in ourselves when we humble out before God. As I look back at the last few months of my life it’s been marked by a lot of strife in my relationships (dating, work, home). Mercifully God has revealed and relented as I have strived to change this, but he has also used it to remind me that I will reap what I sow in my life. Now don’t get me wrong, there will be times in all of our lives where there is hardship and strife despite our best efforts to be godly. However, God has shown me how much strife can be prevented when I am willing to be humble and simply wait on Him.
James 5:7-8 (ESV) “Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient.”
Sometimes I am willing to be patient for a little while but not willing to wait for the late rains. Yet, sowing righteousness and bearing its fruit takes time. I won’t see it overnight, and if I have sown out of my flesh for long enough I will reap the fruit of it before I start to see the Godly fruit of my repentance. This is not God’s punishment, it’s simply the consequences of my actions.
James 5:8-10 (ESV) “Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. […] As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord.”
To establish is to achieve permanent acceptance or recognition for something; to set up on a firm or permanent basis. The power of this verse is to accept and recognize the coming of the Lord. How much more would I be willing to suffer and be patient when my perspective was that it was only temporary and for an ultimate good beyond my understanding? And yet, in the grand scheme of things it is.
James 5:11 “Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.”
To be steadfast means to be unwavering. With all the stubbornness within me I can be unwavering in so many things, my pride, thinking my way is the only way, or holding on to an offense. Yet God calls me to be unwavering in my faith through all circumstances, especially the difficult or ones I do not understand.
A few weeks ago God dropped me in a deep valley. This has begun a journey that I am currently on, one of leaning on Him like I have not done before; a journey of acceptance and striving to be righteous amidst pain and disappointment. I accept that my grandmother is dying and that my role is to be whatever I need to be for her at this time. I need to accept that God gave me the strength and unique skills to get through it and do what must be done. He has equipped me.
Galatians 6:8-9 (NCV) “If they plant to satisfy their sinful selves, their sinful selves will bring them ruin. But if they plant to please the Spirit, they will receive eternal life from the Spirit. We must not become tired of doing good. We will receive our harvest of eternal life at the right time if we do not give up.”
God has equipped me with everything I need to reap good if I do not grow weary and give in too soon. He calls me to not give in to self-pity, and fear.
I accept that at some point I made my relationship my idol and instead of holding it loosely and praying for God’s will, I began to squeeze the life out of it as I desired for it to be what I wanted. I overlooked things that I should have taken heed of sooner in my partner. I accept that this relationship is now over and that God is calling me to forgive, not blame, and surrender, not arm myself. God is not sitting in heaven saying, “ Oh my Kasia is not yet married and she really messed this one up. Are there any available guys down there for her? The man I wanted for her didn’t quite work out.” It sounds absurd but I almost need to say it out loud to remember who God is, His power and his perspective. It will take time to heal from this and see what ultimate purpose God has in mind for this part of my life.
Ps16:11 (HCSB) “You reveal the path of life to me; in Your presence is abundant joy; in Your right hand are eternal pleasures.”
I accept that my job will sometimes be unpleasant and that living circumstances will change. Life and all its moving parts will continue to churn and no matter how unpleasant, difficult and painful this may get I am still called to look to God for His plan in it, His strength and live to His glory, established and steadfast.
God gives me peace, even joy, in His presence. When I am in Him, I will sow and reap righteousness and circumstances will not be able to take that away. The truth is absolutely no person can get me out of the will of God. God holds my destiny. He holds yours too. So no matter what the circumstances He is calling me to accept, it’s not so monumental a task when I am in Him.
Psalm 43:3-4 (ESV) “Send out your light and your truth, let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling! Then I will go to the alter of God, to God my exceeding joy; and I will praise you…”
God puts people and circumstances in front of us so that we can be prepared for what comes next. I’m learning to let what happens make me ready for whatever is in store in the future. God knows what He is doing. If I continue to walk and trust in Him I will bear His fruit in my life.
Wherever your journey takes you, whether you’re on the mountain or in the valley, God provides in every way, whether we see it or not. He is doing something so much greater we only need to wait and obey. God doesn’t ask me for perfection, as much as I can pursue it. He asks me to have a humble heart willing to stand fast, faithful, wherever He is leading me.
Pv 3:1 (NCV) “My child, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in mind. Then you will love a long time, and your life will be successful.”
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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