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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
Running around, preparing to leave the country for a couple of months has truly opened my eyes. I have woken up a little more aware of the comfort of my bed, the air climate control, my hot shower, the fellowship at church and the Sunday service. It made me think of that country song, “Live Like You Were Dying”. I know it’s not the same, not even close, but it has given me a whole new perspective on gratitude.
God truly has given me the desires of my heart. It’s more of a question of my gratitude for what He has given me, what He continues to give me and how He chooses to give to me.
Matt20:29-34 (NIV) 29As Jesus and his disciples were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed him. 30Two blind men were sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was going by, they shouted, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!" 31The crowd rebuked them and told them to be quiet, but they shouted all the louder, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!" 32Jesus stopped and called them. "What do you want me to do for you?" he asked. 33"Lord," they answered, "we want our sight." 34Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him.
There have been moments when I was scared to pray to God and really tell Him what I desired because I feared disappointment. In Matt20 Jesus makes the blind men verbalize their desires. Everyone knew what they wanted, but Jesus made them say it. He granted their desires, but wanted for them to express those desires to Him.
Judges 6:36-40 (NIV) 36 Gideon said to God, "If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised- 37 look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said." 38 And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew-a bowlful of water. 39 Then Gideon said to God, "Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece. This time make the fleece dry and the ground covered with dew." 40 That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew.
I think we all have moments in our lives when we question our decisions or get scared to ask God for what we truly want. He does not always give us what we ask for right away, nor answer our prayers the way we would like him to. But I’m seeing that it is not only worth asking, but its worth learning to be patient and grateful through the process. God is granting me the desires of my heart and answering my prayers beyond my wildest dreams. Gratitude is a funny thing; it is all a matter of perspective. And when we lack this perspective He pushes us. When I trust God’s plans for me I am a lot more grateful and a lot more receptive to His response. So which one of your desires is He working on fulfilling? And can you see Him doing it?
Jer17:5-10 (NIV) 5 This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD. 6 He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. 7 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. 8 He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." 9 The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? 10 "I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve."
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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