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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
Matt14:22-33 (The Message) 22As soon as the meal was finished, he insisted that the disciples get in the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he dismissed the people. 23With the crowd dispersed, he climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night. 24Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves.
I have been studying out desire and coping with pain. When our bible discussion focused on this particular passage of scripture this week it brought a lot of the things I have been praying through together. To see that Jesus was always with these guys and once he left them, even for a moment, they freaked out! It was dark, it was late into the night, and we all know the scariest things happen at night, and their boat was being rocked. My life is my boat and when it gets battered I know I react just like these guys did. I also lose sight and feel ‘left by Jesus’ even though he is not far off at all. All I can feel is the pain and the fear, all I can see before me is what’s rocking my life!
25At about four o'clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. 26They were scared out of their wits. "A ghost!" they said, crying out in terror.
Because of the terrible conditions and their fear they couldn’t even see that it was Him. I lose sight of Jesus when things get hard.
27But Jesus was quick to comfort them. "Courage, it's me. Don't be afraid." 28Peter, suddenly bold, said, "Master, if it's really you, call me to come to you on the water." 29He said, "Come ahead." Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. 30But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, "Master, save me!"
Peter began to do one of the most incredible things ever imagined. He had faith enough to step out and actually walk on water! I have had faith enough to do many things that could be considered great blessings and miracles in themselves- becoming a Christian, graduating collage, traveling to Sudan, forgiving my father and the list can go on and on. Yet, mid walking on water Peter took his eyes off Jesus and began to focus on the obstacles around him; he gave into fear and focused on what he could see.
We all know the definition of Faith:
Hebrews 11:1-3 (NIV)1Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
I focus on what is seen every day! This can stop me from moving forward and distract me. There is so much more than just the options I can see. What I can see is oh so incredibly limited!
Hope is such a powerful thing. It is so hard to stop looking at what I can see and hold on to what I can not, hold on to a hope that is still, after all, only a vague idea of the “immeasurably more” that God will do. God loves us so much that He will do whatever it takes to bring us to faith so that we can truly see the miracles in our lives and begin to do what we never thought possible. He will do anything it takes to enable us…
Paula Rinehart wrote, “God begins His greatest work when the inner man is opened to Him, […] God will wound you deeply. For in this way, He continues to open all the inner chambers of your soul. […] Why not just leave you be? Simply put, such disturbance marks your best chance of hearing his voice in the deep places where your heart makes up its mind. In all this [wounding] God is opening the way to the central chamber of your soul.”[1]
When I lose sight of Jesus I tend to focus on me way too much and what I want and what I’m not getting. This kind of thinking can lead me to do things that will cause me and those around me pain and then, like the silly human I am I can turn around and be all hurt and turn on God, when all along He is trying to give me so much more. He is still there reaching out His hand, loving me.
31Jesus didn't hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, "Faint-heart, what got into you?" 32The two of them climbed into the boat, and the wind died down. 33The disciples in the boat, having watched the whole thing, worshiped Jesus, saying, "This is it! You are God's Son for sure!"
“In the inner chambers of your heart, God steps past all your talent and hard work—all that you would think he values. He goes straight for the messy, broken places in you because it’s there that you can truly discover him. This is the way he frees your heart to love, to risk, to grab hold of life for the joy that’s there.”[2]
[1] Rinehart Paula, Strong Women Soft Heart, W Publishing Group, 2001, p60
[2] Rinehart Paula, Strong Women Soft Heart, W Publishing Group, 2001, p61
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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