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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
2 Corinthians 4:17 (NLB) The little troubles we suffer now for a short time are making us ready for the great things God is going to give us forever.
Beside the fact that this scripture is referring to torture and heavy persecution when it was written, my troubles never seem little when I’m going through them. In fact if there are a lot of little troubles they all seem to roll together into one giant snowball and roll right over me. So although I can look at the scripture above and intellectually make sense of it, in the troubled moments I would really like to know exactly when I can be expecting some of those great things.
My field of work has allowed me to serve in different capacities and many places. I have enjoyed the traveling. Yet, as I get older, I find myself thinking more about my job security. I think it is partially a byproduct of getting older, but partially I believe it to be tiredness of constantly moving. I know that I have chosen a profession that can sometimes result in a lot of travel or short term contracts. However, I know that this does not always have to be the case, and find myself longing for something more stable. I have had enough instability in my 20 something years to last me a life time, and besides God who is a constant rock, not much has stabilized around me.
As I read and prayed over these things in recent weeks, I found myself lacking inspiration and started to think that maybe it was because of all the troubles I was encountering with my work. In reality, however, I was lacking inspiration because I was giving the work issues more space in my life than God. It must have subconsciously seeped through as a friend responded to a recent email I sent with the following advice,
“Pray and ask God to make clear what you can learn from the situation. At the end of the day no job can bring us the same happiness God can.”
This realization took me completely by surprise because I am not a workaholic. I always make sure to draw boundaries between working and non-working hours. I am a hard worker and usually get great joy from what I do. I don’t overwork myself and I know how to say no to my boss when needed. Yet, I let my anxieties and fears about my job security dominate my heart and mind.
Mark 4:40 (NIV) Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?
Job security was just one thing. It was as if I tried to pick up one paper clip but instead ended up with a big handful of twisted metal and the occasional crusty rubber band. I have been letting not only my job fears shift my focus from God, but my fears of the future in general. I’ve seen others get so wrapped up in work and life worries, but I hadn’t seen myself fall into the trap. Even though I’ve seen God provide every time in the past, my light and momentary troubles were amplified by my lack of faith and it robbed me of my joy. So this week I am trying to shift my focus and do the best I can in my present situation with faith that God will open doors as he always has in the past.
2Chron16:9a (NIV) For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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