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Refreshment in Refuge

    by Gina Burgess

10 Drops of Wisdom for Fathers
Date Posted: June 18, 2017

Proverbs 20:22 Do not say, "I will recompense evil"; Wait for the LORD, and He will save you.

The wise father will not retaliate or seek revenge against friends, enemies, his wife, or his children. Waiting upon the LORD is not an easy thing to do, but God deals with each person within that person’s own special heart language. Only God builds and restores families and marriages through forgiveness which is a vertical thing, not a horizontal thing. Forgiving someone is not saying, “What you did is okay, I condone it.” Forgiving someone is saying, “I love you anyway, no matter what you did. We’ll bury the thing and not think about it again.” Forgiveness is the best expression of love except for laying one’s life down for another.

Job 11:12 For an empty-headed man will be wise, when a wild donkey's colt is born a man.

Solomon spoke directly to his son about being wise in the world, with others, in business, and many situations. Some particularly seem to resonate with marriage wisdom from a woman’s point of view. He spoke directly to his son leaving his wisdom written down so his children would have a heads-up in this world. The wise father will plant these words in his heart.

Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel,

A calm and happy home gives security to the children in the home. Therefore, listen to your wives, husbands. So often the act of listening and hearing and responding to your wife will avoid misunderstandings and arguments, but more importantly, you will better understand her. With that understanding comes peace, love, hope, and faith.

Proverbs 12:5 The thoughts of the righteous are right, But the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.

Fathers, keep your thoughts under control. It is definitely wise to understand the hearts of your children thinking ahead to protect them from the wicked influences of this world. The best fathers lead by good example so give your children the blessing of a good example.

Proverbs 12:13 The wicked is ensnared by the transgression of his lips, But the righteous will come through trouble…19 The truthful lip shall be established forever, But a lying tongue is but for a moment. 20 Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil, But counselors of peace have joy… 22Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, But those who deal truthfully are His delight.

Don’t lie to cover up anything When a person is caught in a lie, then trust starts to disintegrate. When trust is gone, that deep abiding love dissipates, too. It is very difficult to love someone you do not trust. It is interesting that there are four verses in this one chapter dealing with deceit. Speaking of peace…

Proverbs 12:16 A fool's wrath is known at once, But a prudent man covers shame.

When anger rules the man, folly sticks to him like gum on a shoe. A wise father and husband will be lord over his anger. Righteous anger is a wonderful thing and spurs us to do something about injustices, but foolish anger does nothing but stir up strife and sows discord in the marriage which is something the LORD hates (Proverbs 6:18). Angry words never solve anything, and only cut to the bone, wounds that take forever to heal. Soft words turn away wrath. Just remember that always being right doesn’t always make you happy. For joy and love to abound in family is work. Anger is a tool of Satan that steals joy and distorts love, be wary of that fiery dart from Hell.

Proverbs 12:14 A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his mouth, And the recompense of a man's hands will be rendered to him.

There is nothing so wonderful as a hard-working man. There is something about hard work (either in an office, a farm, or a shop) that makes a man smell good to the soul. The godly esteem that exudes from a man who’s put in a good day’s work drapes around the wife’s shoulders and comforts her with warm security. This security always soaks into the hearts of the children. Hard work says, “I love you, my darling wife and children.” It goes deep into the fibers of their beings and encases their hearts in a loving, gentle embrace.

Proverbs 20:7 The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him.

There is a whole sermon in this verse. A man who considers honesty and integrity above himself honors God and his family. Someone who always points a finger, never taking responsibility for his own foolishness will tear down the wall of trust that protects the marriage, and heaps shame upon his children.

Proverbs 3:12 For whom the LORD loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights. There is no wiser husband and father than the one who bends his knee to the LORD for his discipline, recognizing the LORD’s voice, and obeying Him above all others. He who puts God first and his wife second will have a long and blessed marriage.

Proverbs 23:24 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who begets a wise child will delight in him. Isaiah 54:5 For your Maker is your husband, The LORD of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.

That is quite a high mark to attain as a husband and father. God knew there would be only one Jesus, and when Paul told husbands to love their wives like Jesus loves the church, he wasn’t kidding; but the fact remains: there is only one Jesus. God delights in men who love Him and abide by His wisdom. When those men reflect God’s glory, His delight hugs the children because the children recognize their godly father as a very good gift from above.

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Biography Information:

Gina Burgess has taught Sunday School and Discipleship Training for almost three decades. (Don't tell her that makes her old.) She earned her Master's in Communication in 2013.

She is the author of several books including: When Christians Hurt Christians, The Crowns of the Believers and others available in online bookstores. She authors several columns, using her God-given talent to shine a light in a dark world. You can browse her blog at Refreshment In Refuge.

If you'd like to take a look at some Christian fiction and Christian non-fiction book reviews check out Gina's book reviews at Upon

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