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Refreshment in Refuge

    by Gina Burgess

10 Traits of a Wise Husband
Date Posted: September 11, 2016

Men, do you want your wives to respect and honor you no matter what? Do you deeply desire the kind of marriage relationship that God desires for you? Of course there are a lot more traits that can be found in Scripture, but these hit the high points. In my old age, I can see so many things that my husband and I did so very wrong that if we had bent our knees more submissively to the Lord God, then our marriage would still be intact and strong against the buffets of life. Learn from our mistakes.Young men, please cultivate these traits as you grow in the Lord. They will benefit you greatly, and draw that wonderful wife to your side.

Proverbs 2:6-8 For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding; He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk uprightly; He guards the paths of justice, And preserves the way of His saints. 12:5 The thoughts of the righteous are right, But the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.

Husbands, keep your thoughts under control. The man who has a wandering eye, and seeks outside entertainment; who does not drink from his own fountain is foolish beyond measure. Just remember that chemical reactions do fizzle out. When that last fizzle settles, God’s work makes an authentic, lasting, new thing called true love. Infatuation merely sputters and dies leaving nothing behind but anguish and shattered lives. The pleasures of the body are fleeting at best. The intimacy of marriage lasts much longer, is more satisfying, and is much warmer when the bones get old and tired.

Job 11:12 For an empty-headed man will be wise, When a wild donkey's colt is born a man.

Solomon had a lot to say about wives such as living with a contentious woman is like the constant dripping of rain (he should know he had 700 of them and 300 concubines). His wisdom along with some old Hebrew adages are laid out in simple text in Proverbs. He spoke directly to his son about being wise in the world, with others, in business, and many situations. Some particularly seem to resonate with wisdom in marriage from a woman’s point of view.

Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel,

Listen to your wives, husbands. So often the act of listening and hearing and responding to your wife will avoid misunderstandings and arguments, but more importantly, you will better understand her.

Proverbs 12:1 The wicked is ensnared by the transgression of his lips, But the righteous will come through trouble…19 The truthful lip shall be established forever, But a lying tongue is but for a moment. 20 Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil, But counselors of peace have joy… 22Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, But those who deal truthfully are His delight.

Don’t lie to cover up anything. What a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive. When a person is caught in a lie, then trust starts to disintegrate. When trust is gone, that deep abiding love dissipates, too. It is very difficult to love someone you do not trust. It is interesting that there are four verses in this one chapter dealing with deceit.

Proverbs 12:16 A fool's wrath is known at once, But a prudent man covers shame.

When anger rules the man, folly sticks to him like gum on a shoe. A wise husband will be lord over his anger. Righteous anger is a wonderful thing and spurs us to do something about injustices, but foolish anger does nothing but stir up strife and sows discord in the marriage, which is something God hates (Proverbs 6:18). Angry words never solve anything, and only cut to the bone causing wounds that take forever to heal. Soft words turn away wrath. Just remember that always being right doesn’t always make you happy. Joy in marriage is work. Love in marriage is work. Anger is a tool of Satan that steals joy and distorts love, be wary of that fiery dart from Hell.

Proverbs 12:14 A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his mouth, and the recompense of a man's hands will be rendered to him.

There is nothing so wonderful as a hard-working man. There is something about hard work (either in an office, a farm, or a shop) that makes a man smell good to the soul. The godly esteem that exudes from a man who’s put in a good day’s work drapes around the wife’s shoulders and comforts her with warm security. Hard work says, “I love you, my darling wife,” more than words. It goes deeper into the fibers of her being and encases her heart in a loving, gentle embrace.

Proverbs 20:7 The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him.

There is a whole sermon in this verse. Watching the political game for this presidential election I wonder does any man/woman in politics possess this quite desirable quality. I also wonder about the media, and business owners, workers, Sunday school teachers, preachers, doctors, lawyers, and Indian chiefs. A man who considers honesty and integrity above himself honors God and his family. Someone who always points a finger, never taking responsibility for his own foolishness will tear down the wall of trust that protects the marriage, and heaps shame upon his children.

Proverbs 20:22 Do not say, “I will recompense evil”; Wait for the LORD, and He will save you.

The wise husband will not retaliate or seek revenge against friends, enemies or his wife. Waiting upon the LORD is not an easy thing to do, but God deals with each person within that person’s own special heart language. Only God can build and restore friendships and marriages through forgiveness which is a vertical thing, not a horizontal thing. Forgiving someone is not saying, “What you did is okay, I condone it.” Forgiving someone is saying, “I love you anyway, no matter what you did. We’ll bury the thing and not think about it again.” Forgiveness is the best expression of love except for laying one’s life down for another.

Proverbs 20:30 Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, As do stripes the inner depths of the heart. 2:22 But the wicked will be cut off from the earth, And the unfaithful will be uprooted from it.

There is no wiser husband than the one who bends his knee to the LORD for his discipline, recognizing the LORD’s voice, and obeying Him above all others. Obedience and accepting responsibility for our actions no matter the cause of them is the only wise path any person should take. He who puts God first, obey Him, has a fellowship with Him, and values his wife only second to God will have a long and blessed marriage.

Isaiah 54:5 For your Maker is your husband, The LORD of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.

That is quite a high mark to attain as a husband. God knew there would be only one Jesus, and when Paul told husbands to love their wives like Jesus loves the church, he wasn’t kidding; but the fact remains: there is only one Jesus.

Ladies and gentlemen, we will have the perfect everything when we get to Heaven. For now, we’ll have to strive for what is attainable and the Bible is quite vocal on how husbands should behave, and explains all the mountains of blessings the wise husband shall have.

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Biography Information:
Gina Burgess has taught Sunday School and Discipleship Training for almost three decades. (Don't tell her that makes her old.) She earned her Master's in Communication in 2013.

She is the author of several books including: When Christians Hurt Christians, The Crowns of the Believers and others available in online bookstores. She authors several columns, using her God-given talent to shine a light in a dark world. You can browse her blog at Refreshment In Refuge.

If you'd like to take a look at some Christian fiction and Christian non-fiction book reviews before the books hit the book store shelves, check out Gina's book reviews at Upon Reflection

Gina is a partner and COO of Common Sense Marketing Strategies, LLC that owns Authors Community and
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