Subscription Lists

Refreshment in Refuge

    by Gina Burgess

Dealing with difficult people
Date Posted: May 12, 2013

God designed the human being as a fellowship-driven being. Our relationships with others determine our opinion of them. How we Christians interact with others is closely watched by God and by Satan, not to mention many who know we are Christian and judge us accordingly. If a person has an excellent work record, but she has a prickly personality that causes more problems than solves them, she does not exhibit the kind of life that draws people to herself; much less draw them to Christ. When a Christian knows what God wants done such as forgiving a wrong, and that Christian willfully chooses not to obey, then it only tarnishes God’s glory.

Disobedience of any kind creates a crack in the armor, and when Satan spies a chink in the armor, there is where he fires dart after dart to weaken our defenses. Satan uses people for his own ends to destroy anything godly; therefore the difficult person is ripe for plucking by Satan to ruin your day, your job, and your peace of mind.

Do not let him.

Seemingly, difficult persons are the thorns of life, often very unhappy, and they thrive on conflict. This combination forms the shape of a fiery dart, readily used by Satan and his minions. Recognize Satan’s influence in situations, and relinquish the situations to God’s care. Understand that God will sometimes allow a situation to progress to the point of your removal from it for your own good because He is intensely interested in your best interest. If you allow Him to, He will guide you through those thorny situations and deal with those prickly people.

Know beyond any shadow of doubt that God allows humans choices. Of course, His ultimate plan will move forward, and He has absolutely provided for any contingencies or mitigating circumstances, therefore if a person has chosen a course of action that is detrimental to your welfare, He will remove you from the situation. Or, God may allow you to remain in the situation so that others may learn of Him, and see His glory in your reaction to the situation. It may be as painful as when my pastor was removed from his shepherd-ship. It may be as humiliating as being terminated from your job. It may be as excruciating as divorce.

God may be trying to force an issue with you such as repentance or forgiveness, and both are on an even plain. Perhaps God may be using a situation for something as simple as practicing your self-control. Regardless, God’s reasoning for removing you from the situation or allowing you to suffer through the situation is meant for the greater good and for His own glory.

Dealing with difficult people:

· Maintain your professionalism. Keep your cool head, because anger only exacerbates the situation on both sides of the fence.

· If the difficult person is your boss, have a back up plan such as another job offer tucked in your belt, or a transfer to a different department. Leaving before being fired is much more easily explained and the reference is much easier to obtain.

· Document every instance in copious detail. Anyone can explain instances of behaviors, but patterns of behavior cannot be explained away.

· Raise your spiritual antenna and pay attention to all those little nudges from the Holy Spirit. Never let something slide thinking time will heal all wounds, because in these instances, it never does. It only gives more time for the wound to fester and get gangrene.

· Take any threat of termination as a very real probability. When the threats begin, that is usually the signal the person feels the battle is over and you are out the door. Seriously, but discreetly start a job search. If possible, determine where the real threat is coming from and try to circumvent the final blow by building reconciliation. Talk to your boss’s boss, and if need be go to the top. This tactic kept me from losing my job decades ago when my boss was a former peer and was promoted over me. She did her best to get me demoted back to sales and finally succeeded when the division manager was promoted to regional vice president. I had lost my ally.

The fact is most bullies and difficult people are jealous of you and your accomplishments. This kind of reaction is a banquet for Satan. He flits here and there sowing seeds of discontentment, and jealousy so that the weeds will be fuel for many grassfires to come.

Consider what happened in 1 Samuel 24. David dealt with Saul who was one of the most difficult people in the Bible. He wanted David dead (throwing a spear at his head twice is a dead giveaway of that intention). Saul harassed David and his men “all his days” (1 Samuel 23:14).

Wanting to relieve himself, Saul went into the cave at En-gedi where David and his men were staying. David’s men urged him to take Saul’s life reminding him of what God had told David. God had provided the opportunity for him to do as he willed to Saul, “and you shall do to him what is good in your eyes.” David crept up to Saul and kârath (cut off) the corner of his me‛ı̂yl mantel or the robe of rank. Interestingly, that Hebrew word is also used to mean cutting off a body part or to cut a covenant, and to permit to perish. In essence, David sent Saul a specific message that God had cut off Israel and the kingship from Saul. Any other action on David’s part would have been ungodly.

God trusted David to make the righteous decision to let God handle the difficult person. If we can courageously hand over the reins into God’s capable hands, our trust will never be betrayed, and the grass fires will not ignite.

Read Part 2 here.

Was this article helpful?
Rate it:

"'Christ in You...'" from Dale Krebbs

Perilous Times

Read Article »
Biography Information:

Gina Burgess has taught Sunday School and Discipleship Training for almost three decades. (Don't tell her that makes her old.) She earned her Master's in Communication in 2013.

She is the author of several books including: When Christians Hurt Christians, The Crowns of the Believers and others available in online bookstores. She authors several columns, using her God-given talent to shine a light in a dark world. You can browse her blog at Refreshment In Refuge.

If you'd like to take a look at some Christian fiction and Christian non-fiction book reviews check out Gina's book reviews at Upon

Got Something to Share?
LiveAsIf.org is always looking for new writers. Whether it is a daily devotional or a weekly article, if you desire to encourage others to know Him better, then signup to become a contributor.