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Have you ever had a conversation with someone who is a parent and all they had to say about their adult children were negative comments. Or have you ever been around a parent and listened to them only speak words that tear down their adult children. Not one word is given that affirms them, builds them up and lets them know what they are doing correctly. A few years ago, as an adult I was in this type of situation which lasted for a few years, until I made the decision to step out of this circle. The only time I was spoken to by leaders was to tell me what I was not doing correctly, or what I needed to change in my life. The list grew to be so long my thoughts were, “I will never be a leader within this structure, because I will always be wrong.” The next step was the enemy began to use the words that were spoken to me, to bring deep feelings of inadequacy into my life. I began to speak words to myself like, “You are no one. God did not call you. You are not a leader. It does not matter that you were a leader in the past; these leaders know what they are talking about. You are a nothing.” Because of this I began to step away from any involvement within the church and began a ministry outside of the church. Yes, I continued to attend church, but stayed at a distance from all leaders, even from those who extended healthy affirmation.

Eventually for 1 year I began to attend a church where truth was spoken, healthy affirmation was given, and yes, rebuke when needed. This brought healing to my life as a leader. Slowly I began to trust again and step into the circle with other leaders. Recently I began to read through the Pauline Epistles looking for how Paul interacted with leaders in training. The books of 1,2Timothy are a wonderful example of Paul interacting with a new leader. As I read through both of these chapters I was reminded of Galatians 5:22-23 which was written to the Galatians, but also is applicable to all believers. Christian leaders are not exempt from this section of scripture. “But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law.” My prayer for myself as I train leaders whether in my nation or in other nations as I travel, is to come along side of leaders and to be a person that is controlled by the Holy Spirit. I pray that my actions and my words are life giving and not words of death to another. There may be times where rebuke and correction are needed, but they must be spoken in gentleness, so I may not cause myself or another to stumble.

As I continued to read the scripture in areas where Paul mentioned Timothy I see a man who desired that Timothy be successful as a servant of God. I see a love for another that only God can give. I see a man who desired that Timothy learn to lead the church in Ephesus according to scriptural guidance, and with a heart and life that gives glory to God.

Thoughts from a few of the scriptural references given in the previous Live As If Weekly Devotion dated January 24,2010.

1 Timothy 1:2; Paul greets Timothy warmly.

1 Timothy 1:16-20; Encouragement from Paul to Timothy in his greeting to him. 1:16; No, Timothy my son, here is my command to you. Paul addresses him as his son.

1 Timothy 1:3,4. Paul and Timothy had traveled, suffered, cried, and laughed together. Paul left Timothy in Ephesus to oversee the young church there. We see affirmation of trust through appointment and action as Paul left Timothy in charge of the church in Ephesus.

I Timothy; He didn’t say, If you make a mess Timothy You WILL clean it up. Instead Paul gave him direction and guidance as we read throughout I & II Timothy.

Philippians 2:20-22 “There is no one like Timothy for having a real interest in you, everyone else seems to be worrying about his own plans and not those of Jesus Christ. But you know Timothy He has been just like a son to me in helping me preach the Good News.” Paul gave encouragement to Timothy by lifting him up in front of others.

From my heart to yours; Not long ago on a Saturday night I was in the midst of reading my bible and praying. The words I wrote in my notes were, pray for my enemies, and no matter how anyone treats me or speaks to me I am to be gracious and extend grace. My thoughts were, ok, no problem. Then Sunday came and I spent a morning in the midst of verbal attacks, rejection, along with many issues that seemed to arise within relational connections and others around me. It was then the Holy Spirit reminded me of the words that I had written the night before. Be gracious, extend grace, and pray for your enemies. On paper this sounds easy, but in real life, by the end of the morning I was in tears. Yet, in tears I followed the directions that the Lord gave me through his word.

My prayer for you- Dear Lord, help us to be leaders that lead others and train others according to your design in God’s word. Help us to live our life daily, in the power of the Spirit according to Galatians 5:22-23. When it is necessary to rebuke or correct, help us to do it according to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and in love for the one we are correcting. Bridle our tongues when we desire to tear down another leader that is looking to us for guidance. Forgive us when we have not lead others according to your word. Forgive us when we slip and hurt another. Give us the wisdom and show us how to repair relationships with leaders we are training, when we have strayed from the pattern given to us in your word. We thank you Lord that you also extend grace to us, your leaders. May we be found faithful by the Father we serve.

For additional scripture references for this study go to my Live As If archives, see devotion dated January 24,2010. Approval 101.

"Chip Shots from the Ruff of Life" from Tom Kelley

Choking can be Hazardous to Your Eternal Health