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It amazes me that when I recorded a CD called, The Journey To Quietness of Heart
in 2005 that this recording would speak to me personally over and over again and
continue to speak to others. As you read my story to Journey to Quietness of Heart, my
prayer for you is that this will encourage you to turn toward Jesus in the midst of the
struggles of life. Why am I sharing my story? I share my story allowing others to look
into the inside of my life as a leader. Some say that to be a strong leader we must not
share in such a transparent way. I disagree. I share what I am sharing not to go against
what some are taught as leaders, but instead for Christians to begin to understand that the
leaders we serve under struggle with many of the same things as others. In fact the
difficulty for us lies in the fact that when we are in the midst of deep pain there are still
people who we must serve with compassion and kindness as we walk through our own
struggles and grief. On that note; Listen in as I share my Journey to Quietness of Heart.
When we lose loved ones’ there more be moments that the grief will overwhelm us when
a memory arises, but this is normal as long as we still continue to live our life, day by day
and step by step.

Have you ever felt alone? Have you ever felt abandoned, rejected, without hope? Have
you ever wondered if anyone cared whether you lived or died? If your answer is yes, to
any of these questions there is an answer. The answer is to turn to the one who loves you.
Turn your heart to Jesus. His hands are outstretched waiting for you to turn to him. Jesus
is the answer to your aloneness, to your feeling of abandonment, rejection and your loss
of hope. He is the one that will teach you a new way to live in relationship with him and
with others. His words to you today, are simply to be still and know that I am God. He is
telling you be still and know that I am God. He is knocking on your heart today, desiring
to speak words of comfort through his word. He is calling you to please spend time with
me. If you will only pick up my word and allow me to comfort you. I will speak words to
your soul and your heart.

Psalm 23: The Lord is my shepherd. I have everything I need. He lets me rest in
green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides
me along right paths bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the dark
valley of death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You
welcome me as a guest, anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.
Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life. And I will
dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

These are precious, precious words, given to us by God. They are healing words,
protecting words, loving words. These are words that are a reminder to our spirit, to our
mind and to our hearts that God is pursuing us with his love and desires us to have a close
relationship with him. He is calling each one of us on a journey to Quietness of Heart. He
is waiting for you, to take the hand of his Son Jesus Christ and say, yes Lord I can’t live
this journey called life with a quiet heart without your help and guidance.
We read in Isaiah 30, verse 15; This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel,
says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but
you would have none of it.”

In reading this verse we see that quietness and trust is a choice. It is a decision to
pray, Lord show me how to live your way. Show me how to draw close to you, show me
how to care for others, show me how to reach others for you. Give me your heart, give
me your compassion, take away the pain I feel, teach me how to live your way. Show me
how to walk in your ways and not my own. God delights in answering this kind of pray.
These words are not selfish requests; instead they are words of abandonment and
surrendering to God. Acknowledging that we cannot find quietness of heart alone is the
first step on the journey to Quietness of heart. Once we cry out to God, in his time, and in
his way and begin to read his word he may send another Christian to walk beside us as
we journey together to Quietness of Heart.

There was a time in my life years ago that I began to cry out to God. My life was
a mess. I was doing lots of what we call in the Christian world, “good things” but I was
falling apart. I was on a church board, I was teaching a Sunday School class, I was
working fulltime as a sales consultant, I was a single parent and a part time college
student soon to become a full time student. There were times that I sat in my car and
would break down crying wondering how I was going to continue to live the way I was
living. I was so tired. I was tired whether it was morning, afternoon or evening. I was
only sleeping 4 hours a night. I knew I had to make changes in my life, but I did not
know how. I was looking for peace. I continued to cry out to God asking for his help,
eventually he connected me with a Christian leader that recognized my pain and reached
out with these words, Nancy, it’s ok to take a break, it’s ok to feel pain, its ok to cry and
it’s ok to be tired. He didn’t tell me buck up girl and get it together. He didn’t tell me go
home and pray it will be alright tomorrow. He didn’t tell me I was a bad person. Instead
he gave me permission to rest and encouraged me to take time to heal. You see I was a
person that helped others. I was a person that was the listening ear. I was sinking fast in

the midst of hurting people. I was now one of the hurting people that needed someone’s
help. It was time for me to learn to receive the comfort that God was extending to me
according to 2Corinthians 1:3-4Praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles,
so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received
from God. My soul was empty and I no longer had anything to give to others because I
was not taking the time to receive from God.
The healing process God took me through was not easy. The most difficult part
was learning to forgive those who had sinned against me and hurt me deeply. It was
difficult and painful to acknowledge that my unforgiveness was sin in the site of God.
Matthew 6:14-15 for if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father
will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men for their sins, your father will not
forgive your sins. Forgiving was the key that opened the door for me to begin my
journey to a quiet heart. When we forgive we tear down the wall of sin between
ourselves and God. We are now on a road that God can begin to use us for his glory and
as a vessel that is honoring to him.

Once we reorder our life and learn to live according to God’s plan it does not
mean that life will be easy. It only means that we can now live a God honoring life. Years
ago in the midst of making an important ministry decision the land of grieve entered my
life. One morning I was preparing for work when my phone rang. The call was from my
sister. As she began to talk she shared that our brother-in-law had unexpectedly died of
an aneurysm. Suddenly the man who brought joy to our family was no longer with us. In
the midst of the loss of my brother-in-law my 5 year old nephew was battling an ongoing
illness.

By November my nephew’s little body could no longer go on, and the day
arrived when our little guy breathed his last breath. Once again the news came in a phone
call our dear little Christopher was no longer with us.

As you listen to my words you may remember the day a phone call came to your
home and life changed forever. There were no watches or warnings to prepare for the
phone call. There were no rumbling sounds in the sky to get your attention and no news
reports to prepare you. As you listened to the message that arrived, in shock you
wondered how you would survive the pain that cut so deep. How do we survive when
suffering comes into our life? How do we continue to move forward when the pain cuts
so deep? By experience I can say it is not an easy thing to do. Yet, if we acknowledge it
is all part of the journey that we call life and look to God for guidance we can begin to
heal, step by step, day by day. The pain can only stop us from living our journey in
quietness of heart if we turn away from God instead of turning to him in our suffering.
Picture if you will, a beautiful table set before you. The table is set for two. The
candles are burning, the lights are low, the china is sparkling and the room is quiet.
Slowly you go to the table and sit down. As you look towards the door in walks Jesus. He
takes the remaining seat. He smiles softly; he takes your hand and speaks words of grace,
from 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made
perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so
that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in
weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak,
then I am strong.

It is in our weakness and suffering that God begins to work in a deeper way in our
lives. In 2005 the Holy Spirit began to prompt me to share my story and I began to once
again pick up the pen I laid down long ago and once again I began to write. It is in the
midst of our pain and suffering that we can begin to be a blessing to others if we are
willing to allow God to use us in his way and not our own.
I hope that my story and the words of Jesus bring you encouragement and comfort
today. There were many times when I felt like giving up and turning back to my old way
of life before I became a Christian, but then God reaches down with a reminder in his
word, or he sends a person my way with the exact words my discouraged soul needs to
hear. Please remember that whatever is going on in your life today, With God all things
are possible. He can take the mess of our life and turn it into something beautiful. As he
takes this mess and turns our life in to something beautiful, many times it requires us to
allow God to change us in the midst of the grief and the pain. It is during this time we
must remember, that he is the potter and we are the clay. We must not be afraid to spend
quiet time in prayer, in the word and also to allow others to surround us who we can trust.
It is in the place where we will find peace.

Copyright: Nancy J. Watta, 2005 The Journey to Quietness of Heart.

"Voice of Inspiration" from Andy Castro

Psalms 91:13