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This past week has been one of the most difficult, craziest and yet amazing weeks of my life. I'm almost not sure where to begin. Several weeks ago my boyfriend of almost 4 years decided it was time to end the relationship. I was totally caught off guard and in a state of shock. As the days and weeks went by, he continued to call me. He continued to tell me he loved me and he missed me and yet he did not want to be with me. My heart was on an emotional roller coaster. Just this past week he told me he has already started dating. It crushed me. You see, over the last couple of weeks, even though we were broken up, I was still holding on to hope. I was still hoping that somehow, some way, we would get back together. I was still singing the same song, with the door open and wishing, hoping and waiting. I had postponed believing what was really happening. The reality is, he's moved on and so must I.

Breaking up is hard. It's never easy. For so many reasons there is an emotional battle that ensues. For me, it was the love of my life (or so I thought). It was a dream of the future – a husband, a family of my own, the life I imagined – all shattered into a million pieces and me simply standing there trying to figure out what happened, what went wrong, what did I do or not do.

I'm so grateful I have wonderful friends who love me and care about me. They love me so much they are willing to say the hard things I know to be true, but don't want to hear. And yet they are brave enough to say them anyway. Like telling me not to call him or see him, that I should guard my heart. Or telling me the break up is not about "me." Life happens. I need to seek God first and all these other things will be taken care of.

I had a life changing encounter this week with a complete stranger who prayed for me. As a result of this experience, I am forever changed. I have met God in a whole new way. I heard Him and I know He hears my cry for help. I can now claim Jeremiah 29:11 as my own: For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Relationally is not the only area of my life where there is turmoil. Physically, I've developed an illness related to my international mission trip travel. I won't go into all the gory details, but I will tell you I've been sick for 8 weeks now. I suppose the good news is I've lost quite a bit of weight – although I wouldn't recommend this as a new dieting technique. I used to enjoy food – now, well eating is really no fun. I am seeking medical care – as well as prayer – and between the two I am confident God will heal me. I know it and believe it.

However, even in the midst of all that has happened, God has been my one true and constant companion. He has revealed Himself to me in new and exciting ways. I've made new friends, started on some new adventures and am singing a new song… a song He has given me to sing.

Just this past weekend, I had a friend tell me how much he admired me and my faith in God – and he could truly see God at work in my life as I put these situations in His hands. (Gee, if he only knew how much I struggle.) It was humbling and yet it lifted me to know my life was an encouragement to him. It helped me to see all is not lost or wasted. God does use everything for good. God is still my center and I want the whole world to not only know it, but to see it.

Although I have no idea what the future holds, I do know who holds my future and it's in good hands. I will continue to praise Him for all He has done. (Good and bad.)

"Chip Shots from the Ruff of Life" from Tom Kelley

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