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Single Minded
by Michelle Brinson
Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us. We are pressured in every way but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:6-9 (HCSB)
I fell down today and something got broken Lord. I'm not exactly sure how to fix it. My first instinct is to run for cover, hide and place it in the dark so no one will ever know. But I know that won't solve anything. In fact, it would only make matters worse. Satan just loves it when I take my sin and try to hide it from You. If I keep my hurts in the dark he will only try to use them against me. Next, I think, if I could just find some industrial strength Super Glue I could somehow glue the pieces back together. I'm sure no one would know or even notice the cracks. But from past experience, I've yet to find a glue that could hold so many pieces together – pieces that have been broken over and over. There's just too many of them and some of the pieces have simply turned to dust. And even if no one else noticed, You would God, because You know and see everything.
Lord, despite my fear of telling You and talking to You about this thing I've broken, I know only You can fix those things that are fragile and easily damaged… like a heart that's been stored in a jar made of clay. You are the glue that can repair the damage I've done. So I give it to you Lord - my heart that is, that I've placed inside this jar of clay. And while I know You do have the power to restore what the locusts have eaten and You have the power to make my sins as white as snow and You have the power to restore to whole that which I have broken – it too has been my experience that You don't always work that way. Not that You can't… because You can. But it seems as though the way that demonstrates Your amazing grace most beautifully is to simply mend that which has been broken and leave a few scars and cracks in the process.
I will repay you for the years that the swarming locust ate, the young locust, the destroying locust, and the devouring locust — Joel 2:25 (HCSB)
"Come, let us discuss this," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they will be as white as snow; though they are as red as crimson, they will be like wool.
1:18 (HCSB)
In that day I will restore the fallen booth of David: I will repair its gaps, restore its ruins, and rebuild it as in the days of old, so that they may possess the remnant of Edom and all the nations that are called by My name [this is] the Lord's declaration — He will do this. Amos 9:11-12 (HCSB)
I know it is in the scars and the cracks of a broken jar that's been glued back together where You are most evident. It is in the scars where questions are asked (How did you get that scar?) and our stories are told to bring others closer to You. It is in the jars of clay where Your light penetrates the darkness and shines so brightly through the cracks where others can see how You fixed this broken thing.
As much as I hate the things I do that separate me from You… it is in the turning back to You I find You were there all along. You have always been there. You have never left me… but You simply allowed my free will to impose its selfish desires upon me and I turned away from You and to my own self. As Paul says in Romans, for I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate. Romans 7:15 (HCSB) I can relate because I struggle with this too.
God, oh how I wish I could live each day in utter and complete obedience to You. It is my soul's desire! If only my soul could always win the battle against flesh. I try and try and try – and yet I still fail.
I am so overwhelmed by Your amazing love for me and for each of your children. No matter how many times we fail You, we turn from You, we walk away from You… You are still there. You never leave. You are so faithful and merciful Father. Thank you just doesn't seem enough.
It is my prayer to live my life in a way that is honoring and pleasing to You. I want to glorify You in every word and deed. And while I know it is not in the doing that brings me salvation I want to be like You and do the things I know You would do if You were physically here – just so others may want to know You too.
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Michelle sees her marriage as a ministry and desires for it and herself to be used by God. She and her husband and son are active members of their church. She is also passionate about spreading the good news locally as well as internationally via mission trips to East Africa and wherever else the Lord leads.
Michelle is a talented writer and speaker who prays God will use her in sharing His hope and truths to those who are hurting and in need of love.
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