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I love to talk. I love the process of communicating with other people. There is something so wonderful about "words" and "language" and I really enjoy being able to share a thought, a story, or a word with someone and to see them "get it!" I so enjoy all forms of communication, from writing a letter to someone, sending an email, calling a friend on the phone, sending a text messages, giving a presentation, writing a report, to reading a book… words.. words.. words… They are so precious to me. I love them!

I suppose I take my ability to communicate for granted. I never really stop to consider not everyone is designed the way I am when it comes to communication. There is a man in my office who is such a challenge to communicate with. It's not because he can't communicate, it's just that it takes him a really long time to put a sentence together. And in the meantime, I've already tried to figure out what he's going to say and moved on to my next thought. It's not that I don't want to listen, it's just my makeup to process things quickly and to communicate spontaneously. On the other hand, I suppose for this man, and others, he's trying to make sure he says exactly what he wants to say – so he takes his time to put all the right words together.

Time and time again I hear the words of my father in my head "Michelle, think before you speak." I'm sure it won't come as a surprise to many of you to know this was often said after my "words" had gotten me in deep trouble. Today, I've learned how to think before I speak, but I'm still quite spontaneous when it comes to communication. I also work extra hard at being a listener because communication is a two way street. It's more than just sharing a thought. It's making sure what you've shared is understood. That is the essence of communication.

I love to write and that's why I consider it such a blessing to write this column each week. It fulfills a deep desire within me to share the things God is revealing to me on a daily basis as I walk with Him. I don't always get feedback, but sometimes I do and when I do, it's nice to know someone has "understood" what I was trying to say.

Unfortunately, sometimes "understanding" is completely missed in communicating. A couple of weeks ago I was the victim of some "careless words." It was so amazing to me how quickly those words penetrated my heart. They came suddenly, without warning, while my guard was down. I was speaking with someone I love dearly. Someone I trust with my deepest thoughts and desires - a strong Christian woman deeply rooted in God's Word. I would never have imagined she was capable of saying something that would hurt so deeply. I know she had no idea that her words had hurt me. I did my best to cover up the pain her words caused. I had let her see so much and suddenly I felt betrayed.

It's amazing the power words can have in our lives. I hate that saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" because it is the biggest lie world. Words can hurt and often do hurt.

Again, I know she had no idea how harsh her words sounded to me that night. I suppose part of it could have been attributed to my state of mind. However, as I reflected back over the conversation it occurred to me this woman had no idea exactly what I was going through and therefore it was hard for her to relate. While she is truly gifted in the area of wisdom and discernment, I fear she lacks the gift of empathy. I'm not saying everyone has to have that gift… I'm sure many people do not. (I probably have a bit too much of it. I cry watching the news sometimes.)
What I did learn from this experience was to step back and to give the words to God. I asked Him to reveal Himself in this situation and to take away all the pain caused by her "careless words." In seconds… the pain was gone. I also prayed that God would allow me to use my words carefully – not carelessly in the future. He directed me to the words of the wisest men who ever lived… Solomon and his book of Proverbs filled with practical insights. I'd like to share just a few of the verses Solomon wrote with regards to our speech, our words, and our tongue:

Sounds like some great advice to me. Again, think before you speak – it is a sign of wisdom. Words can be used to build people up and to heal them – what amazing power! The result of gracious speech – you will have the King for your friend! Nothing could be better.

Just remember – your words can be careless or careful. The choice is up to you… but remember there are consequences of every word spoken. I suggest you chose your words carefully.

So in the words of my father, I too say, "think before you speak."

Dear Lord, please help us to be mindful of our words. Allow us to use our speech as described in Ephesians 4:29 helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Thank you so much God for loving us enough to give us Your Words. We love You and we praise You! In the power of Your Son's holy name I pray! Amen!

"Word from Scotland" from Sandy Shaw

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