Sometimes I panic, wondering how I am going to pay my bills, how am I going to remain independent when my hands are losing their dexterity and my balance is slowly escaping. The one thing I seem to be gaining is depression. This is reality, unfortunately, and I am finding out it is not merely my perspective. A friend of 30 years recently stated, “I’ve always believed you could do anything you wanted, but now I see your walking isn’t as stable…” And my mother, who has always scolded me for proclaiming my disability as the reason I could not do something, mentioned I should get a suite by the pool so I don’t have to use the stairs. Sometimes life is overwhelming for me. But then I ‘go to work’ and play the strong, empowered, determined advocate who convinces others to achieve the unachievable.
Last night, I asked for some comfort, some reassurance from my Father, and opened a devotional book to the following from Smith Wigglesworth:
Jesus saw that He must suffer if He would reach the spiritual life that God had intended Him to reach… If you seek to save yourself, it is an offense to God… leave the shoreline. There is only one place where we can have the mind and will of God; it is alone with God… There is a close companionship between you and Jesus that nobody knows about, where every day you have to choose or refuse.
I can’t do this (i.e. life) by myself… Praise God, He doesn’t want me to.
Jesus replied, What is impossible with men is possible with God- Luke 18:27
For nothing is impossible with God. -- Luke 1:37
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." -- Matthew 17:20
Shelly is a 30 something year old licensed therapist with cerebral palsy who is transitioning onto a whole new path in her life. As someone who was never limited by her disability, through recent declines in her health and abilities, God is humbling her despite her stubborn resistance. She is closer to Jesus than she ever has been as He carries her with His strength, protects her with His armor, and empowers her with His Spirit.She uses her writing and speaking gifts to fulfill her ultimate purpose of bringing glory to God through her life.