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Sometimes I go out of my way to 'secularize' my writing. There are non-christians who read my blogs and I don't want them to be turned away by all of my 'religious references'. (Truth is, I don't see myself as a religious writer; I simply write about my relationship with Jesus.) Ultimately, I want my writing to be a testimony of God's glory, but I tend to lose sight of even that when I write. Why can't I write about normal single, mid-thirties, professional woman issues like men, fashion, socializing, men, shopping, oh… and men? I know people wonder about the romance side of me… shoot, sometimes even I wonder about that! I wonder why I don't have an emptiness inside that could only be filled by being in a committed romance. Or why do I feel like I don't have a maternal clock ticking to hurry and be a mommy? The bottom line is none of that appeals to me. Perhaps deep inside, I'd like to be married, but the desire is extinguished by my passion for Christ. The relationship I have with Him is more fulfilling than anything I could imagine. Again, there are no words to describe how complete I feel in Him. Frankly, I think I would resent being married and having to take time from Jesus to be with my husband. You must be thinking I am a freak by now. Or you just cannot relate to where I am coming from. I understand that, I really do, because I have trouble understanding my contentment as well. I don't know why He is so real to me, why He speaks to me so clearly, why the throne is so accessible to me. I don't deserve being so close to Him, but that grace helps me show mercy to others. My battles are not finding a date for Friday night or matching my earrings to my shoes. I need to care more about that stuff, to achieve some sort of balance. My battles are related to being more in the moment rather than already living with my heart in heaven. Scripture tells us to make the most of every opportunity because the days are evil… that is the war I am in. I get so secure in knowing my destiny that I do not always make the needed preparations. It's like when you are so excited about a party that you fail to decorate. I have a feeling Paul fought in a similar war when he wrote For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. – 1 Corinthians 10:3,4. I guess we all have to choose our battles.

"'Christ in You...'" from Dale Krebbs

The Saints Who Slept

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