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Sometimes, we just have to hurt. In Matthew 26:36-46, Jesus goes from his disciples to the Father, prays, then back to the disciples who were sleeping and once again to the Father. Although he told the disciples that he was so sad that he was almost dying of sorrow, asking that they keep watch while he went and prayed, they fell asleep. Did He question their care and love for him? I would have been frustrated, even to the point of ‘redefining’ our relationship, thinking if they truly cared, they would’ve kept watch and prayed… anything but fall asleep! Then I think of the disciples… what were they suppose to do? After all, it was Jesus going to the Heavenly Father!!! The two of them could definitely take control without any outside assistance! So while Jesus prayed, they must’ve figured they’d rest while they had the chance. My heart breaks as I imagine Jesus almost pacing between God and the disciples wanting someone to do something. He maintained composure with his closest companions, saying “Wait here…” then let his authentic ‘humanness’ emerge with his Father. While he fully intended to do the Father’s will, he wishes there was an easier way to accomplish his purpose (oh, how I relate!!). But he had to do what he was called to do. And ultimately, he had to go alone. It wasn’t that his disciples did not want to help Him, rather all they could do was wait for him to fulfill his mission. Although they fell asleep, they waited for him. Sometimes we just have to hurt. We may pace between friends and the Lord for comfort, help, ANYTHING… but in the end, we have to carry our own cross.

"Today's Little Lift" from Jim Bullington

Mercy and not Sacrifice (Sept. 30, 2010)

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