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by Kevin Pauley
In the case of abandonment
But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to peace. - 1 Corinthians 7:15 HCSB
The Pharisees, in questioning Jesus concerning divorce and remarriage, specifically mentioned the phrase “on any grounds.” As stated earlier in this series, at that time there was a sharp debate between two religious schools of thought. Shammai’s interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1-4 held that “some indecency”[1] meant “immorality”, as in Matthew 19:9. So the followers of Shammai held that immorality was the only appropriate cause for divorce.
Another rabbi, named Hillel (c.60BC-AD20), emphasized the preceding clause “she finds no favor in his eyes” and allowed divorce if a spouse did anything that was disliked – up to and including burning the food! Jesus clearly fell on the side of Shammai, referring to Genesis 1:27,2:24 as the appropriate Scriptural interpretive tool.[2]
According to Paul in the book of Romans, a marriage vow binds the husband and wife together until death separates them.[3]. He carefully used the halakhic phrase "released from the law". If your spouse dies, you are "released from the law", the implication being that you may now remarry.
He went on to say that a believer may not initiate a divorce from an unbelieving spouse with religious differences being the sole reason.[4]. Remaining with an unbelieving spouse allows that person a greater chance of hearing truth and seeing it lived in the believing spouse’s life. Thus, they have an increased chance of becoming a Christian and escaping God’s wrath. We must consider our role in the salvation of the unmarried spouse and any possible children when debating divorce.[5] The unbelieving partner can be influenced by the godly life of the Christian partner; the family is under the holy influence of the believer and is, in that sense, sanctified. The children also have at least the advantage of being under the sanctifying influence of one Christian parent (cp. v 16) and so may be called holy.
The believing spouse must seek reconciliation when trouble arises.[6] and pronounced a specific blessing on peacemakers. Believers are to cultivate peace with everyone to the extent that it depends on them – including their spouses. This is because God values our relationships more than He values our worship.[8] The Master gave us clear directions as the the procedures to follow in seeking reconciliation.[7]
However, if the unbelieving spouse wants to depart, he or she may do so.[9] Paul said that the abandoned spouse is “not bound” i.e. the believer is not under obligation to that marriage vow. If we compare Paul's language in 1 Corinthians 7 to the language he used in Romans 7[10], , we quickly realize that it is the same as is used in the case of a widow. As a widow is no longer bound to her marriage vow to a dead spouse, similarly a woman is not bound to her wedding vow to an unbeliever who has chosen to abandon her.
Kevin Pauley is a pastor and writer. He lives in Illinois with his wife, Lynn, their five children and two dogs. His internet address is Berea.
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