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'Hear, O sons, a father's instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching.' (Proverbs 4:1-2)

The opening of Proverbs 4 gives us a nice little look into Solomon's childhood, and it's a good one. His basic instruction is a simple one: listen to your parents, but like so many other simple instructions don't let its simplicity fool you! It's not necessarily easy.

Just do it

This command is straightforward enough: listen to your Dad. Why? Because he's been there first, and knows what good and bad decisions to make. A child goes to touch the exciting fire and the Dad says, 'Don't do that!' The child doesn't understand why, but the father's been there before, experienced the effects, and is able to say with some confidence that his child won't enjoy it much. It's tempting at every age to think we know it all. As a teenager i thought I knew it all but then I became a twentysomething, and realised that of course I didn't know it all...but now I do. I think the same's true of everyone, but we need to all be reminded every now and then that actually we know so little. We should listen to our parents, and not just listen but 'be attentive', because our parents have far more experience than we give them credit for.

Why do it?

Solomon doesn't leave it at 'listen' - he says why you should: a father gives good instructions. The Bible is full to the brim with instructions we can choose to follow, or ignore. And the question we need to ask with all authority that comes our way is: Is this good, or bad? The Bible is simply good instruction from God. When reading the Bible we shouldn't have to ask whether we should follow its instruction, we shoud be simply asking how to do it best, but when it comes to a parent's instruction it's actually a good question to ask. If my Dad tells me that before I get married I should sleep around a bit to get some practice, is that a good instruction? No. Why? Because the Bible tells me otherwise. We should submit to our parents' instruction unless it contradicts the Bible. If it doesn't clearly contradict the Bible, then let's obey!

But what if I disagree?

Maybe an example would be useful. A son tells his father that he wants to live in East London, but the father tells him that he shouldn't - he should live in West London. The Bible doesn't really say much about that, does it? Well, we need to find out what the underlying reasons are - why does the father prefer West London? Is it closer to home? Is there a better church there? Are there strip clubs in East London? Is it dangerous? Does the Dad not like the new church the son's moving to? If a child initially disagrees with his parents' assessment of a situation, they ought to really question these underlying concerns from a biblical basis. If there is a genuine biblical concern, the child really needs to get a healthy dose of humility and acknowledge that they ultimate must submit to a higher power - not their parents, but almighty God.

Isn't that a bit of a cop out?

Oh, believe me, I know this could be really tough. What if a parent disagreed with a really tough life decision? What if you really want to marry a particular person, or get an abortion, or get a new job, or go to university, or keep renting a house when you could buy, or quit working to look after your children? I'm not saying necessarily that all of these are bad choices to make, but if you and your parents disagreed over them it would be really likely to impact you. What if a parent told their daughter she shouldn't lead a church because it's unbiblical? That could really cause some tension, and we need to rely so desperately on the Holy Spirit to provide genuine guidance and wisdom. I think it's good to develop good habits. Looking back I can think of a couple of times where I actively went against my parents' will, and I would probably have enjoyed myself more, and got more out of life, had I simply obeyed them.

"The Way" from Kevin Pauley

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