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Thoughts of a saint and slave

    by Sam Isaacson

Wisen up: Proverbs 5:15-23
Date Posted: January 25, 2014

'Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.
Should your springs be scattered abroad,
streams of water in the streets?
Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman
and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?
For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord,
and he ponders all his paths.
The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,
and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.
He dies for lack of discipline,
and because of his great folly he is led astray.'

Keep to yourself

At first this passage is a little confusing - what is God on about, telling us to drink water from our own cisterns? At first, this might seem to be in direct contradiction with other Bible passages referring to Jesus as living water, and instructing us specifically not to rely on our own cisterns (Jeremiah 2:13). Thankfully we are given some valuable context; the last couple of chapters in Proverbs have been unapologetic in their presentation of temptation to stray from God as lust, but now we hit the sharp end of it. Drinking from 'your own cistern' in this context is talking explicitly about remaining faithful in marriage. The picture couldn't be clearer. Imagine a man who owns a well, yet who constantly takes water from other people's; others would get annoyed at him, and his water would sit there, going stale and undrinkable. The message for marriage is undeniable: get a proper well before drinking, and then don't drink from elsewhere!

Lust and love

The language used to describe the passion a man should have for his wife doesn't hold back; it's pretty graphic, and uses that word 'intoxicated' in a positive way to describe how a man ought to feel about his wife. Are we that passionate about our spouses? Are we genuinely intoxicated in their love? Or are we more frustrated by their annoying habits and aware of their flaws, having to find compromise in every situation? Have we even got to the point of 'staying together for the sake of the kids'? That same feeling of intoxication that one might have over forbidden love is the same feeling we ought to have for our spouses...are we feeling guilty yet? How often could we genuinely say that we can't take our eyes off our husband or wife? That's the sort of feeling that we should foster and nurture in ourselves. And let's not try pointing the finger of blame at our partner - it's too easy to think 'I don't fancy you any more because you got fat!' Our standard of beauty should be our spouse.

Consequences

The best way to approach any of this is to consider it from an eternal perspective. Getting caught up in an adulterous affair is bad news, I think we can all agree on that, but the consequences can often appear to be limited, particularly in certain circumstances; the kids are moved out, we've both moved on, her parents hate me anyway...but even in cases where the consequences are significant, they can never be overstated because it affects not only our marriage, children, parents, family members and friends, but it affects God. He sees everything - every thought, everything we say, and everything we do. He sees it and will judge fairly, and he knows where it will lead us eventually. He isn't giving us this guidance to be mean, it's because he cares for us. He wants the best for us and knows that the greatest joy to be found in sex is experienced in the marriage bed - do you believe that, too?

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Biography Information:
Sam is married with two very young children. He manages somehow to balance family life with working full-time as a technology risk consultant for an international professional services firm, being actively involved in a church plant in London, UK, and keeping up-to-date with the NFL.
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