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Voice of Inspiration
by Andy Castro
It's true. I see dead people.
It's not a daily occurrence but, on average, every couple of weeks or so. I have to wonder why I am privileged to see them. I didn't ask for this, and I certainly didn't expect it to happen. When it first happened, I was quite shocked and moved emotionally. It took me back to the time when I was a child, and my grandmother died. I wept bitterly. I recalled the last time I held my nineteen-month-old son, who had just been pronounced dead. The pain was so profound; I couldn't cry.
I'm at a hospital five days a week. I see these dead people covered on a gurney waiting to be transported to a funeral home. I will see them being rolled down the hallway to the morgue. I find that I want, at the same time, to look and not to look. I find it odd to see that it is routine work for the nurses, doctors, and morticians. The bodies are prepared to leave the hospital as fast as the sunsets. In a moment, all that is left is the memory of that person. Good, bad, or indifferent; it is the memory that is left.
Not knowing if they are a man or a woman, I find myself wanting to know about these people. Were they young - old - married - single? What kind of work did they do? Did they die happy or with much grief? So many questions and none answered. Were they rich or poor? Did they love, and were they loved? Did they know Christ, and if so, did they genuinely follow Him?
I find myself wanting to remember them. It seems a sin to forget the dead, forever hidden in the underground storage center, like an old photo album lost in a junk closet.
As I write about this, I think of myself. I wonder if, when looking in a mirror, am I seeing a dead person? Sure, I know Christ as my Savior but do I live as He has called me to live? Do others see His life in me? Do I live in peace despite circumstances? Do I hear His still small voice during a storm? Do I trust His path for me more than my own? Am I dead to all His love, goodness, peace, and direction for my life?
Hebrews 12:1-2Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
In my future, I will be looking at the dead areas of my life. The areas in which I may have lost faith due to fear, worry, or weariness. I will be considering areas of my life I may have given in to hopelessness and shame.
Previously, my life theme was to "Run the Race to Win." In "running to win," I may have focused more on running for performance and not the Lord's plan. I may have been looking more at reaching my desired performance levels and timing, other than Christ. Running for performance brings on the encumbrances and shame that the previous scriptures show us. The Strong s Concordance defines "encumbrance" as: a mass (as bending or bulging by its load), that is, burden(hindrance): - weight.
This year I will look to the Spirit to show me what I have trying to take on myself. In doing so, I have been loading weights on me that is bending my spiritual back and slowing me down. It also leads to another problem.
Shame.
When we create lofty expectations or try to live up to others' expectations of us and fail, we open the door to shame, and the enemy will try to beat you down, telling you over and over how you have failed. Shame brings with it the evil brotherhood of fear, worry, and weariness. And the brotherhood beats you and shapes you like a ten-pound sledgehammer hits a length of steel and bends it till it breaks. At the very least, the steel is deformed or fractured. Shame does this. It breaks us or deforms and fractures our faith and belief that our Father is good, merciful, and loves us deeply. Shame distorts the map of our life, leading us to our self derived path in life. It drives us in the direction of forever striving. This path is lonesome, leading us to the shallow grave of worldly possessions. It leads to death. It deforms our relationship with Christ. The enemy humiliates us, but the Father teaches us to despise the shame and lay it aside.
How do we do this? The Spirit of God began showing patterns the enemy would use against me to beat me with shame. Once I began to see the design, I renounced it and gave it to Jesus. Here's the conversation in my head after learning the way of the Father.
Enemy: "You're a failure! Nothing has changed in your life." Me: "No, I'm not a failure. I'm more than a conqueror through Christ! The Father has changed me. He makes me who I ought to be. Old things have passed away; all things have become new. I walk by faith and not by sight.".
Of course, it was a little awkward at first, but I have become accustomed to doing what needs to do after a few times of doing this. I would then tell the Lord that I lay down any shame at His feet. I tell Him I no longer own it. I release it and momentarily meditate on releasing it and thank Him for the release.
Ask the Spirit to guide you, for He longs to guide you to freedom. Make a resolution to run to the Father any time shame tries to beat you down, and He will do what He does best. Lead you from death to life.
With love, Andy
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