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Paul wrote the definitive piece on biblical love in 1 Corinthians 13. Perhaps it's not as much a definition as a description, still he listed all sorts of aspects of what God calls love. And we get most of them:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

Yes, yes, we get it. Patient and kind. Sure, everyone knows that. Not self-absorbed with arrogance or "what I want". Of course! Love, by definition, is concern for the best for the other person. Everyone knows that love isn't rude, doesn't seek its own interest, and isn't easily upset. A little more difficult, I suppose, but if we think about it we know that truth and righteousness are good for those whom we love, so we would be happy about those. Love never ends. Okay, yeah, maybe we don't see as much of that in our world as we would like, but we get it.

So why is it that that other part is so often missed? "Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." Paul lapses into superlatives here, throwing out terms like "all" as if he needed to use them up. No, that's not the case. He was writing aspects of love that the Holy Spirit inspired him to write. These "all" terms are not lightweight things. They speak of bearing, believing, hoping, enduring when circumstances don't seem to merit it.

C. S. Lewis once wrote, "Love believes the best of the Beloved, even against the evidence -- yea, against much evidence." This is what Paul is saying. If you love someone, you believe the best of them, even if it looks like there are reasons not to. I heard one Christian radio host say, "I don't trust my wife. 'Trust' implies that there might be the possibility that she would do something wrong. I know she would never cheat on me, so it's beyond 'trust'." You see, that's love.

How many of us actually love our spouse? She acts suspicious. Do you leap to the conclusion that she's doing something wrong? He works late. Do you assume he's got someone on the side? She smiles at the waiter in the restaurant. Do you wonder if she's interested? He gets an email at home from a female coworker. Do you suspect the worst? Love "believes all things". We ... don't. For most of us, it takes very little to make us suspicious. I just want to point out -- that's not love.

I know, I know. Some people earn our suspicion. Some admit to affairs. Some put it in our faces. Some of it is unavoidable. I'm not talking about them. But husbands, wives, parents ... if you love, the first response will be an expectation of the best. If it isn't, you are not loving.

"Refreshment in Refuge" from Gina Burgess

Things that go bump in the night