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Chip Shots from the Ruff of Life
by Tom Kelley
Came across some really outlandish facts the other day concerning the laws that exist in some corners of the United States. These are actual laws. I wonder how closely the local police watch for these things or whether or not those who see these terrible crimes perpetrated turn people in as vicious criminals. There are several things concerning these laws that I will point out, but, for now, here they are courtesy of the "Bathroonm Reader."
In Tennessee it is illegal to drive a car while you're asleep. What I wonder is, does that mean it is illegal to fall asleep while driving a car or to begin to drive a car while asleep. The interpretation of that law could be the way out of being fined for it. Here in Kentucky (staying in the south) if you live in the little town of Fruithill and are a man, you must remove your hat if you come face to face with a cow on a public road. By cow do they mean a heffer or are bulls included? Seriously, it makes sense to doff your lid to a lady, but another gent?
For those of you who own your own giraffe, do not move to Idaho. It is illegal to fish for trout in Idaho while sitting on the back of a giraffe. I guess if the giraffe lay down on its side you could sit on its belly or its hip and that would be acceptable. Speaking of state laws, you must watch what you do if you ever stay in a hotel in California. You may peel a banana in your hotel room but never, not ever, are you allowed to peel an orange in your hotel room. In the hall, the lounge, in front of the main desk; but never in your room.
If you're like me you have probably looked at these laws and asked, "Why would lawmakers even waste their time coming up with such outlandish laws?" That's the catch to this. How many accidents in Tennessee involved people who fell asleep at the wheel? Did cows quit giving milk in Fruithill due to rude men not removing their hats? Did someone actually fish for trout on the back of a giraffe in Idaho and cause a problem? As for the orange peel, even I can't attach a meaning to that one. Some laws just simply make no sense.
Consider this one. If you want to go to heaven you have to go by Jesus Christ. No, seriously. That's what it says. "Then Jesus said, 'I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me.' " John 14:6 All that good stuff you did to impress God? Doesn't count. He still wants you to do it for righteousness' sake, but your entry into heaven is going to depend on whether or not Jesus is your Savior. Makes perfect sense to me. If you despise my kids, I don't want you in my house. Despise God's Son as Savior and He doesn't want you in His house either.
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...He was the Minister of the Minorsville Christian Church located near Stamping Ground, KY.
...Becky and Tom have three children; John, single and in worship ministry in Nicholasville, Kentucky; Sean, married (Jennifer, elementary school teacher) with twins (Grace and Patrick, b.d. 10/31/04) and regional director of Papa John's Pizza in Central KY; Kara, married (Vince Taylor, prison guard) and working with Hospice East in Winchester, KY.
...Tom went to be with the Lord on November 13, 2009 after a lengthy battle with cancer. If you have been touched by Tom's writings please send an email to Tom's son at jkelley@catalystchristian.net
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