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Chip Shots from the Ruff of Life
by Tom Kelley
Okay. I need to know some things. This isn't quite a "didjever?" type thing but it is close. This is more of a "cosmic balance" thing. More of a "canyatellmewhy?" thing. Maybe you have thought of these also, but, then again, maybe you haven't. If you have, you don't win anything, other than the satisfaction of knowing that you think like me. That might not be all that satisfying for you. It could be disconcerting or maybe even borderline frightening. Anyway, here goes.
Why do men (or women) who live on narrow back roads drive pickup trucks with dualies? You know what I'm talking about don't you? The big pickups with the wide rear ends that have four wheels instead of two on the back. When they leave their homes they cannot be met and passed by someone coming the other direction. Check it out if you wish. Somewhere near you is a little narrow back road with no shoulders and I guarantee you there will be someone living on that road who owns a pickup with dualies. Guarantee it.
Why do Wal Mart shoppers (or any other shoppers at department superstores) insist on walking three to five abreast in an aisle? You've seen it before. They have the entire family out shopping and they're coming right at you. You have to crawl onto the shelf with the candles in order to avoid being trampled. And they're not even interesting in anything in that aisle. They're just "shopping" with the youngest kid in the family pushing the cart all over the place. Why can't they walk single file?
Why do "pull through" parkers suffer from poor depth perception? These are the people who don't want to have to back out of or into a parking place so they just pull through into the space immediately in front of them. This usually results in them hanging over the line between the two parking spaces so that their rear bumper (often even the rear wheels) are in the parking space they pulled through. I invariably wind up finding the space they pulled through as the last available parking space and wind up worrying the whole time I'm in the store/restaurant/business. What if they forget they pulled through and back up to get out?
One more "canyatellmewhy?". Why, with all that I've done in my life (like the inane whining in this column), does God want me in His family? Don't cop it to the trite, "Because God loves us in spite of ourselves," answer. That's a dodge that keeps God all too human in our eyes. Try to understand it. Why does He love you and me? " 'For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord. 'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.' " 55:8, 9 I honestly think that the answer to "Why?" is that, if He didn't, He wouldn't be God. There's a certain solace in that.
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...He was the Minister of the Minorsville Christian Church located near Stamping Ground, KY.
...Becky and Tom have three children; John, single and in worship ministry in Nicholasville, Kentucky; Sean, married (Jennifer, elementary school teacher) with twins (Grace and Patrick, b.d. 10/31/04) and regional director of Papa John's Pizza in Central KY; Kara, married (Vince Taylor, prison guard) and working with Hospice East in Winchester, KY.
...Tom went to be with the Lord on November 13, 2009 after a lengthy battle with cancer. If you have been touched by Tom's writings please send an email to Tom's son at jkelley@catalystchristian.net
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