Chip Shots from the Ruff of Life
by Tom Kelley
It was all cackles and sputters and tweets and hums and beeps. It's fascinating to listen to a dial up for the internet squawk at you incessantly for five minutes until you finally get the picture and hit cancel. Such is life in Dial Up City. It's tough; it's brutal; it's where I live. And it can be frustrating. It's a good thing that the monitor is located where it is on my desk. At my age and condition it is too much effort to lift a leg high enough to put a foot through the thing. Hopefully today will be different.
This is day three of "Dial Up Captivity". Seriously I hope it isn't. This IS the third straight day that I have prepared a column with the hope that this time the internet beasties will allow me access to their hallowed ground. It is a good thing that I don't have a firearm somewhere in the house for that matter. I may not be able to kick that high but I can still aim and pull a trigger. Is that how we deal with such frustrations? Drastic measures? Do we resort to the unthinkable or the uncharacteristic to settle difficulties?
The phone rings (or chirps or buzzes or sings or plays the National Anthem) and you answer it only to find a telemarketer on the other end. However, what they have is something you have been interested in for some time. The problem is that they're from somewhere in Papasymballaoompadawip and you can't hardly understand what they are saying. Do you, [A] tell them to slow down for the twentieth time and speak clearly for you, [B] hang up, or [C] throw the phone on the ground and do the "I-wish-they'd-hire-Americans-who-talk-like-me" dance on it?
If you chose [C] then you know what I have been through the last two days and the certain fear that pervades my soul as I prepare this column in the hope that the internet will finally let me in. In the realm of human development there is an equation that sometimes works. It goes something like this; frustration plus desperation divided by an expert opinion equals understanding. In short, I called a friend last evening. This morning optimism is my ally. I actually believe that today I shall triumph past the dial up and enter the worldwide web. Why? Because I found out what was going wrong.
In Luke 15:11-32 there is a story about a young man who sought to be happy. He thought happiness would be being on his own away from the constriction of his home and family. When his money ran out, as well as all his so-called friends, he found himself slopping hogs and thinking the slop bucket looked like a delicious seven course meal from the local restaurant. "But when he came to himself, he said, 'How many of my father's hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.' " Luke 15:17-19 What are you struggling with in your life? Take it back to your Father.
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...He was the Minister of the Minorsville Christian Church located near Stamping Ground, KY.
...Becky and Tom have three children; John, single and in worship ministry in Nicholasville, Kentucky; Sean, married (Jennifer, elementary school teacher) with twins (Grace and Patrick, b.d. 10/31/04) and regional director of Papa John's Pizza in Central KY; Kara, married (Vince Taylor, prison guard) and working with Hospice East in Winchester, KY.
...Tom went to be with the Lord on November 13, 2009 after a lengthy battle with cancer. If you have been touched by Tom's writings please send an email to Tom's son at email@example.com
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