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Chip Shots from the Ruff of Life

    by Tom Kelley

Trouble with Words
Date Posted: December 30, 2021

Every now and then notices and advertisements are posted which could be worded a little bit better. If you're like me, when you read these kind of things you have to wonder if someone just wasn't quite on their game for the day. But that's what makes these kinds of statements and pronouncements such treasures. The effort behind them is absolutely sincere. The following samples of sincerity are proof that some of the funniest things come from the deepest effort.

Most of us have stopped to grab a meal at a McDonald's. The next time you go through the Drive-Thru check to see if you find a sign nearby that reads something like this; "Parking for Drive-Thru Service Only." Speaking of fast food, a Burger King employee wasn't too careful when they put a sign on their marquee. The sign read; "Now Hiring Losers." An old S. S. Kresge Store (forerunner of K Mart) had a curious sign on the front door for customers to read; "Bargain Basement Upstairs."

Sometimes professionals reveal that the reason they do what they do is because they can't teach English. One photographer was concerned about prospective customers not knowing how long he would be gone. The sign he posted didn't exactly resolve the question for his customers. It read; "Out to lunch; if not back by five, out for dinner also." I am sure that loving parents responded positively when they read the sign posted outside one photographer's studio; "Have the kids shot for Dad for $24.95."

The funniest signs are the ones which give directions and try to economize on the words. Office buildings are notorious places for such succinct signs. One sign in an office building gave rather implicit directions; "Toilet out of order. Please use floor below." Another office building was posted with; "Entrance Only Do Not Enter." All of these point out that the human condition struggles to express itself quite often; even when it has the time to put it on paper. So how well does the human condition do in the throes of a prayer?

"Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God." Romans 8:26, 27 God isn't worried so much about the clarity of our expressions to Him as He is the sincerity.

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Biography Information:
Tom Kelley, pastor, speaker, lived with his wife, Becky, in Georgetown, Kentucky

...He was the Minister of the Minorsville Christian Church located near Stamping Ground, KY.

...Becky and Tom have three children; John, single and in worship ministry in Nicholasville, Kentucky; Sean, married (Jennifer, elementary school teacher) with twins (Grace and Patrick, b.d. 10/31/04) and regional director of Papa John's Pizza in Central KY; Kara, married (Vince Taylor, prison guard) and working with Hospice East in Winchester, KY.

...Tom went to be with the Lord on November 13, 2009 after a lengthy battle with cancer. If you have been touched by Tom's writings please send an email to Tom's son at jkelley@catalystchristian.net
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