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'Christ in You...'
by Dale Krebbs
There have been many discussions about love. Even to make the statement is an understatement. But discussions and arguments, strife and accusations, charges and countercharges about conditional and unconditional love continues relentlessly. Is there such a state or condition as conditional and/or unconditional love? Should love be "unconditional"? Is there ever a time for "conditional love"?
Can love be divided?
In order to reduce the size of a tree that could have so many branches and twigs, we will focus on the love of God as He relates to people, and that love as expressed between people in general. You will notice that there are two assumptions. One, that God has love and is Love (John 4:8), and that there can be love between people (1 Thessalonians 4:9). We will roughly define love here as an honest and outgoing concern, from the heart, for the object of that love.
When looking for the presence or absence of "love", it is often defined by response. Consequently, it is often believed to not exist - or at the least, it is a "conditional love", which generally means that since the manner in which the object of love is being treated is unpleasant or feels it to be unfair, etc. For example, a child is certain that the parent "does not love me" when receiving what is perceived as unneeded or unfair correction or punishment. But the parent knows that the correction comes because of and comes forth from love. And we as adults, in many circumstances are not that much different in our feelings and responses. It may be described differently - unfair, oppressive, unkind, rude or unfriendly, it may be an unintentional or deliberate act, etc. The presence or absence, or the quality of love must not be defined by response, as we will see shortly. To do so is in a word, "childish" - i.e. understandable in a child (they will probably eventually come to see it differently later in their lives), but not in adults. Especially for Christian adults. Presence or absence of love is therefore determined by feelings toward the circumstance or event, along with imputation of motive. This leads to an invalid judgment as to what love is and what it does.
Adults are many times referred to as "big little boys" or "grown up little girls". Unfortunately, these sayings are many times correct and descriptively accurate. Many of us are grown up little boys and girls in understanding conditional or unconditional love. Much of the disinterest and hostility that the world - the one we are called to witness to - has toward God, Jesus Christ, and Christianity in general can be laid at the feet of the quagmire of our own confusion about love. So many times it has been exclaimed "well if that is what Christianity is, I want no part of it", or "I though you Christians were supposed to love each other"(John 13:35), or "where is the love in that?". It is too often true. It should never be true. We should take note that those who question in this do not first ask themselves if perhaps what they see or do not see is or is not "conditional" or "unconditional" love - we should wonder why they do not make a destinction. So often Christians have been their own worst enemy. Perhaps we can learn from our rejections. We should. We must...
It is incumbent upon all of us as representatives of Christ that we understand deeply that the presence or absence of anything in life - difficulties, troubles, freedom, persecution, prosperity, poverty, chastisement, encouragement, etc.- do not of themselves define the love of God. When this truth is internalized in us by the Holy Spirit, it enables us to live under the wing of "not my will be done, but your will be done" - the motto of our life in Christ.
If the tree of love bears a fruit that can be marked "conditional", it is not a love fruit (Galatians 5:22). If anything is conditional, it is not love that is being conditional. It may be something that feels more preferable, it may be something laudable and desirable, a good work, a sacrifice, a good feeling, or an act of reciprocation, but if it is attached to conditions, it is not love. We may protest by saying that God has set a condition of repentance for salvation. Repentance is necessary and required. But it is not a condition for His love. Remember which came first. Jesus loved us FIRST by dying on a cross - and then gave us conditions! He gave us conditions because He loves us so much - the conditions are not a partition of His love. They are requirements that enable us to love as He loves! He did not wait until we did some kind of hoop-jumping before He decided to love us. Our response was not, is not, and never will be a condition for HIS LOVE. Now we love Him BECAUSE He FIRST loved us! (1 John 4:19) This is the why "love is the fulfilling of the Law", and not the other way around. God’s love is unconditional - always has been, always will be. It is no different between people. If someone says, "well, I love you, but only on one condition...", etc., be assured it may be several things, but love it is not. This is a reason marriage vows are broken, agreements are broken with impunity - there is not love there. It is sometimes called "love", but the vow or agreement had a condition somewhere, known or unknown. It was not love, it cannot perform the requirements of love, because true love is utterly UNCONDITIONAL! The ones truly loving are the ones who are ever giving - they are always found on the giving side, not on the taking and seldom on the receiving end. The fact that Jesus loved us first unconditionally enables us, when He is living in us is, to love each other unconditionally (1 John 4:20-21).
Only love - true love - loves first, before there are conditions. God IS love. He is the definition of Love. His nature is fixed. God (Love) is unchangeable. Therefore, He Who is Love cannot love conditionally, or He could not BE LOVE. His love is so unconditional that He loved us from eternity past, before He made the worlds, before He made us, before we sinned when He knew we would. God and Love are a constant, eternal. God always loves and is loving - when he blesses, or corrects, or punishes, kills, or makes alive. Since Adam and Eve, the love of God has always been unconditional. He will come to judge the world and bring punishment in His unconditional love (Revelation 19). It is a supreme act of love for Jesus Christ to put an end to the unspeakable carnage an unloving world has brought upon itself because it will not repent. Having loved it from the beginning - He still does. Love never ends, but God must, because He is love, bring some things that are not love to an end, so that love may eternally prevail. Only Love can prevail Only love can vindicate. Only Love - God - can finally conquer because He IS unconditional love. He "cannot deny himself" (2 Timothy 2:13). Christ is not divided - love cannot be divided.
The sublime truth is simply this: there is no such thing as "conditional love"!
Do you have love? Then by definition, and in truth - it must be unconditional...
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. But when I became an adult, I set asidechildish ways. For now we see in a mirror indirectly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."- 1 Corinthians 13:11-13
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