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Are you kidding me? Am I not supposed to talk now? That’s hardly the point, but a number of scriptural admonitions indicate the importance God places on the things we say and the way we say them. And any casual listening in on the conversations taking place around us reveals the frivolous, coarse, indifferent way we treat people in our discussions with one another and the loose way we sometimes handle the facts concerning the circumstances they find themselves in.

Jesus spoke to this issue in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable when he said, “…men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless (NIV or idle KJ) word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” Matthew 12:36,37 So what if I’m out of sorts and say something I don’t really mean? Don’t my actions speak louder than the words I sometimes say? Possibly, but we often let slip what we really think deep down inside, in unguarded moments saying what we actually feel about a person or their circumstances that we might not express otherwise. Our words becoming a window to our souls. Jesus describing it this way. “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45 (See also Hebrews 4:13 & Romans 5:10 on the inevitability of our “hidden” thoughts and actions being exposed and judged by God, even if we somehow keep them concealed from men.)

Sometimes we find ourselves in the company of people who begin talking and behaving in a way we normally wouldn’t and become tempted to do likewise. That’s why the NASB renders the title scripture from Proverbs a little more urgently saying, “When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable.” Which is why noted Jewish theologian Judah ben Samuel says, “As long as I remain silent, I control my tongue. Once I start speaking, my tongue controls me.”1 (And why Jesus advised, “Simply let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”; or at least lends itself to manipulation, disappointment and failure. Matthew 5:37) Confirming James’ estimation of the enormous potential for evil – and hopefully good – our tongues possess. (See James 3:5-10, especially “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.”!) Conceding that, “We all stumble in many ways.”; James none-the-less insists that if anyone were able to achieve faultlessness in what he says, he would be perfect and “…able to keep his whole body in check.” James 3:2 Which reinforces the somewhat surprising statement of Proverbs 18:21, “The tongue has the power of life and death,…”

Isn’t that a bit of an over-statement? Not really, especially when you consider how often the “blows” delivered verbally are often just as impactful as actual strikes to the body of those we accost; embarrassing, categorizing, demeaning, scaring and scarring people in ways that can actually outlast scratches, cuts, bruises and even broken bones. Our attitude toward others and the words we often use to denigrate them – even if unintentionally – having ramifications beyond what we usually intend or expect; not only on them but for us as well. Jesus comparing anger to murder, contempt deserving censure, disgust and disregard qualifying us for condemnation. (See Matthew 5:22) The progression of hateful attitudes and words to hate-filled actions – or unfeeling disregard and lack of compassionate acts – being easily recognized in the lives of many today. Jesus stressing how what we think is often as important as what we eventually do. In comparing lust to adultery and anger to murder, Jesus graphically characterized the gravity of the “mental” sin to emphasize the seriousness of its consequences. (Although our words can indeed “kill” relationships, reputations and prospects – leading some to self-destruct through suicide. Not to mention “killing” any possibility we may have had of witnessing to people we speak so harshly to or about, possibly destroying any willingness on their part to ever listen to anyone else on the subject of a loving God offering forgiveness and mercy – after having experienced that God represented by unloving and unmerciful members of His church.)

In debating a number of issues with the religious authorities of his day, Jesus defined what truly defiles us. “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and those make a man unclean.” Matthew 15:16,17

Interestingly, other “rabbis” used this same type of analogy in dealing with “sins of the tongue.” As in, “A slanderer stands in Damascus, but kills in Rome.” 2 The victim often never aware who his attacker is. (With the technology at our disposal today, this is doubly true!) In fact, some rabbi’s used almost the same terminology as Jesus when noting the correlation between anger, slander and murder; pointing out how the consequences extend to at least three individuals – making them all victims. First would obviously be the object of the slander and/or gossip. Second, the person sharing in the slander is compromised, as his or her relationship with the one being gossiped about is often irrevocably damaged if not outright destroyed. And third, the perpetrator; as people learn of their untrustworthiness, they face the possibility of becoming a pariah even among their close associates, not to mention the fact that they will be called to account before God at some future date.

Peter advises, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.” 1 Peter 3:10 (See also Psalm 74:12-16 In Hebrew, an evil tongue encompassing gossip, slander and malicious speech.) Which is not merely a prohibition against telling untruths about people, but entails sharing negative truths you have no business sharing. Paul advising us to, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3,4What a difference that would make!

Finally, some sage advice on how to handle yourself if you ever find yourself the target of a conceited, vain, selfish individual. Paul instructing us to, “…not repay evil for evil… if it is possible live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge… but leave room for God’s wrath,…” In fact, he further instructs us to do the opposite of what human nature might dictate by responding in peace and concern for those attacking us. “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.” The goal being to, “…not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:17-21

Jesus likewise commanding us to, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who insult you.” Luke 6:27,28 Assuring us that, “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you (especially if its) because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven.” Matthew 5:11

1Quoted by Lois Tverberg in , Walking in the Dust of Rabbi Jesus, subtitled How the Jewish words of Jesus can change your life; Zondervan Publishing.

2Ibid.

"The Way" from Kevin Pauley

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