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Every morning I wake up and set my priorities for the day. Sometimes these priorities are based on what happens, but on any given day I might have to re-prioritize. I prioritize what I will allow to occupy my thoughts, thus influencing resulting actions or inaction. My priorities are driven by what I want most. Sometimes what I want most and where I choose to place my treasure is at odds with what I believe; it’s at odds with my faith and my God. I try to rationalize this, thinking, “I’m a good person and I believe in God BUT I just want “x.” If I have “x” I will be ok.” Whenever a “but” appears in my thinking or prayers it’s not a good sign. When I want something and seek security in knowing I will have it, I begin to lose trust in God. In that moment I choose not to recognize His presence. I fade Him out into the background and hone in on the prioritized desire.

Matthew 6:19- 24(Message) 21It';s obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being. 22 "Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. 23If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have! 24 "You can't worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you'll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other.

There were moments in this past week where I simply felt rocked. I craved stability like a pregnant woman craves pickles and ice cream. If you have ever had a ridiculous craving for one of your favorite treats, ie: dark chocolate, it was kind of like that. I was preoccupied with superficial goals, things that I want to achieve. I felt wrestles not knowing what was next. My focus on these desires caused a shift in my thinking; the more I craved the more self-defeated and dark my thinking became. My priorities shifted and soon I allowed myself to lose faith that circumstances in my life would change. It’s ironic really, how the above passage basically starts off saying, “Yeah, what you ultimately want you will get.” It’s also kind of scary. What I allow to dominate my thinking and my actions exposes where my true priorities are and who, or what I let master me. It’s a decision.

25"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body.

I’m not big on fashion but I must say I have my moments where I crave success, and comfort. In my heart, the temptation is to pursue that which pleases my human longings, to push the limits, live for the now. Sometimes the emotions can be so strong that the decision becomes impossible to make - it's an all out battle. In the moment I must decide what I will focus on. It’s incredible the power we have to change our mindset and yet how rarely we choose to exercise this power. At the end of the day I cannot serve two masters because a time will come when they will make opposing demands.

This battle takes place in my mind and rages on for what seems like hours. What wins out is what drives my priorities. Do I want my life to be characterized by perfect love (His fullness) or by perfect performance (world’s emptiness)? One focuses on me getting while the other focuses on me receiving from God in order to give to others. Some days my desire for success wins out. I get preoccupied with getting instead of choosing to settle my heart on God’s love and the pursuit of a love relationship with him. I don’t always see this happening in the moment, but my level of anxiety and insertion of "but" into my prayers can serve as a good indicator of where my heart is.

31What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. 32People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. 33Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

There are some things God wants me to get settled in my heart, not just regarding a given situation or circumstances, but for all time. A change of focus helps me to re-prioritize. The only way I can re-focus is by recognizing God’s presence. God made me for the relationship of His perfect love. I do know the way He works. I have seen Him work. It’s about taking the focus off of myself, placing it on him and in turn giving to and loving others. Often in the middle of the storm, tormented by the waves of disappointment and doubt, it is hard to recognize God’s presence. It takes eyes of faith. However, if I can recall past storms he brought me through it becomes a lot easier to see. The more I seek Him the more I unbind His hands to work in my life and use it beyond me.

Nothing in life is certain. Circumstances roll in and out like ocean tides. I will get rocked! The unknown can sometimes seem so frightening and I can catch myself wondering what the next page of life holds. I can want a promise from God that nothing will go wrong instead of a command to do what’s right. I need to remember that I can’t stop or control the things that roll my way but I can make the minute-by-minute choice to let my soul rest in God.

34"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

"Refreshment in Refuge" from Gina Burgess

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