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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
I have been learning the difference between the real and the genuine. See Cubic Zirconium is real, but Diamonds are genuine. It’s a funny thing about diamonds. They are imperfect. In fact, the more imperfections and flaws they have, the more valuable they are.
I have been studying out 1Peter recently. It’s a powerful letter written to offer encouragement to suffering Christians. See, I don’t deal well with suffering. I like to avoid it or discard it, but unless it is dealt with suffering returns. I can be “real” about how I feel, but not genuine. I can in reality express myself without really addressing or dealing with what I fear or that which hurts me. Or I can become genuine through the process of dealing with the fear and pain that life brings. The cool thing about genuine stones is they are not manufactured in a lab. They are produced under intense pressure, immeasurable heat, and over thousands of years.
1Peter1:7 (the message) Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine.
When I first read this I remembered reading Malachi 3:3, which talks about God as the Refiner of silver and the process of silver refinery, how it is burned by the Refiner and watched carefully until all the impurity is gone. The Refiner never takes his eyes off of the burning silver as not to leave it in the fire too long which would cause it to be destroyed. Although I thought it was really cool to view God as the Refiner, the process itself didn’t seem too complicated. This led me to look up the refining of gold. It’s very interesting as the description of this process was ridiculously complicated and much longer. I learned that gold is first mixed with other metals, including silver, and then burned at 1,830-2,010 degrees Fahrenheit and even then it is not completely purified. The process must be repeated multiple times, emitting toxic fumes along the way and if something called PGM’s (some type of technical term for elements that must be removed to achieve pure gold) are present then even more purification is required. In fact without PGM’s the gold can be purified 99.99% vs. with PGM’s it can only be 25% pure.
Wow, I thought about what my ‘PGM’s’ are -what are the things that hold me back from being drawn closer to God, made more genuine, and purified?
1Peter1:17 (the message) Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God.
I can make excuses and say things whenever they come to my mind (lack of discernment and discretion) and people can say I’m being real, or I can be vulnerable (use discretion and speak with discernment) and be genuine. I can admit to fears and concerns instead of just expressing hostility and insecurity by deflecting and highlighting others’ flaws. I have continued to hurt brothers around me with my harshness of tongue. When I sought advice an older friend and mentor shared with me that if I want to be in a loving relationship one day I can’t make my brothers feel like there is nothing they can offer me. Through my quick tongue and opinions, as well as defenses, I can give that very impression. In fact, if I am genuine I would admit that I am equally a mess and equally afraid as they are. Though I hear what is in their hearts, even when they can not say it forthright, my fears result in me being ‘real’ and telling them what I really see in them, instead of acknowledging what they are going through and inciting courage in them through my vulnerability. I must make a conscious decision to be genuine in order to obtain a deep consciousness of God.
Daniel 12:10 (NIV) Many will be purified, made spotless and refined, but the wicked will continue to be wicked. None of the wicked will understand, but those who are wise will understand.
It’s scary to think that I can be ‘real’ all my life, but if I am not seeking to be genuine and to be refined I will continue to be wicked. It is only through the process of purification (the very long, painful, HOT process) that I am able to make it to heaven. We are purified when we become Christians and are baptized, but that is only the beginning of the purification process, and not all will make it to 99.99% pure. I desire to make it.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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