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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
Gentleness has never been a characteristic that people who know me would use to describe me. I’m the “honest” friend, the “tell it as it is” friend. But I’m also the friend who can really scorch with her words. This can be disheartening. I want to build my friends up and encourage them when they are down or even when they are in the wrong, but my passion can stifle gentleness and compassion. The “com” gets choked out by the “passion”. It results from a lack of trust in God, but also can prevent me from re-enforcing the positive attributes I see in those I love.
I hold my friends and their walk with God in high regard, as a result I can feel responsible to help them get it right instead of trusting that God IS in control and He will take care of them no matter what I say or how I say it. Recently, this also prevented me from seeing that I was discouraged. My discouragement was a result of not trusting in God through my friends’ trials and tribulations. I was discouraged, but could not see it. As a result my passion was being fueled by discouragement and not God, resulting in panicked or harsh words instead of gentle ones.
Prov25:15 (NIV) A gentle tongue can break a bone.
Prov15:1 (NIV) A gentle answer turns away wrath.
My lack of gentleness can prevent me from communicating my gratitude for my friends. My lack of gratitude for some really amazing friendships prompted me to write an email and thank them for who they are in my life. Although this email served as a stepping stone towards repentance for me it was not some great breakthrough when I used “gentle words” instead of my usual “raw truth.” In fact, the very next day I was apologizing for my harsh words to yet another person. This time it was not enough that they “knew my heart”. I couldn’t erase it. Those words altered how that person sees me. I can not take my words away and I remembered all the harsh words that I had heard from a parent at one time that still stay with me. For the first time in a long time I really saw the power of gentleness. Gentle words have the power to communicate my concern to the people in my life, as well as prevent regrets from words I can never take back. I can be a better friend and more effective for God if I season my truth with gentleness and my passion with compassion.
Matt12: 36-37 (The Message) Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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