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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
I’m currently suspended in life. What I mean by that is that at this time last week I knew exactly where I would be and what I would be doing this week (or at least I thought I did). This week is here and I am not where I thought I would be. I am not in the country I thought I would be in, I’m not in the job I thought I would be in, and I am literally faced with living day to day not knowing what to expect or what is coming next. On top of that, I got hit with a tax audit that is exponential. If this would have happened to me a few months ago my immediate reaction would have most likely been panic followed by a lot of hyperventilation but I have been eerily at peace.
Ish26:3 (TEV) You Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.
When I have trusted God with the most obscure situations in my life He has never failed to wrap his arms tightly around me and provide. Recently I have felt His arms around me all the more. As I have been in career and life limbo, I have remained in a state of peace because the more I trusted despite the situation the more God provided other options. While waiting for one job offer to come through I began to become anxious and unsure. I questioned whether it was the best option for me but through this situation I prayed for God to show me His will even in full resolve of what I could see.
1Cor10:13 (TEV) God keeps his promise, and he will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm, at the time you are put to the test, he will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out.
A lot of my friends have been asking me if I feel frustrated or anxious as a result of the unforeseen events lately and instinctively I want to reply in a resounding “YES!” but then I pause and realize that I’m not. Does this mean I have arrived at some higher state of being? I sincerely doubt it! There have definitely been momentary lapses in my state of ‘Zen’ when yet another email in my inbox makes me scream for .5 seconds, but than I have taken a deep breath and pushed forward to do what needed to be done. I know that I will panic about something by week’s end but so far, I’m learning to enjoy the peace. The week has been filled with tests but they have been so much more bearable than in the past because this week God’s promises have been so much more evident and clear to me. He has provided me with the power to remain firm in these times of testing and I know that the strength is not my own. The peace is not generated by me and neither are the circumstances and this time it’s ok. I have been able to let go for long enough to enjoy the blessings and the ride, even if it is a ride in the dark.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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