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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
Sometimes my dreams seem really far away. I know, that sounds like a cheesy line from a pop song, but it is also how I can feel. Waiting may be an important part of the process, but it is always the most torturous part for me. Sometimes the combination of waiting and feeling like I am wandering aimlessly can make me question my dreams. I start to think that maybe the things that I want for my future are wrong and not meant for me. I start to doubt.
Exodus 6:7 (NLT) I will make you my own special people, and I will be your God. And you will know that I am the LORD your God who has rescued you from your slavery in Egypt.
When I read about God choosing me, only for the statement to be followed by a verse that refers to God rescuing His people after leaving them in the desert for 40 years it can be a bit discouraging. I wonder if it’s really necessary: the trials, the waiting, the wandering and wondering? However, I recently got a glimpse of how necessary and beneficial these things are.
I recently went to a job interview and found myself referencing lessons learned from my present job and thought, “Wow, if I get this job, then the experiences that I have had this year may actually help me not only get a new position, but be better at it.” However, If I look back at my state of mind a few months ago, I know that I was not in a place t see this.
There have been many moments when I have wanted to run; when I have run. However, I realized that God wants to compel me to fight. When I tackle the hard things, my giants so to speak, it moves me closer to my dreams rather than further away. I can chose my own way and succeed, but my success will be smaller, selfish, it may even make me successful, but not fulfilled.
2 Chronicles 16:9 (NIV) For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. You have done a foolish thing and from now on you will be at war.
When I depend on God for strength I am no longer at war with myself and I am able to do the right thing even in situations when it is hard or may seem unfair and uncomfortable. I am able to face whatever giants I need to and I can wait, even if it is painful because His dreams for me are so much greater. I can't see the full picture but with each small decision to chose Him and to chose to fight I get a little closer to my dream as it becomes more in line with His dream for me.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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