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Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
Distress -expierncing strain, anxiety, or suffering.
When I am in a state of anxiety or working through life’s distress (usually a lot smaller then I think it is at the time) I can initially let it pull me away from God and not even notice that this is what is happening. Even though in my mind I understand that things happen for a reason and that ultimately whatever I am going through or dealing with is for my benefit, my heart is revealed through my actions. I can tell when my perspective is off and my heart getting hardened as a result of circumstances because I am bitter, my concern is more for myself then others, I tend to be insensitive, cynical, and it is hard for me to praise God.
2Cor7:10-11 (The Message) You let the distress bring you to God not drive you from him. The result was all gain, no loss. Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets.
And now, isn’t it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has goaded you closer to God? You’re more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible. Looked at from every angle you’ve come out of this with purity of heart.
Regrets are produced as a lack of gratitude for the lessons taught through given situations and events. Yet, eventually as I see more clearly the lesson I am meant to learn it draws me closer to God and I am able to let go of the pain that fuels the bitterness. When this occurs it is evident by the fruit it produces in me; concern, compassion, reverence, a pure heart.
I can make excuses and say things like, “I’m just trying to be real” while all along using the statement as an excuse to continue to remain in my sinful behavior, or I can do the right thing. I will know the right thing to do because God makes it so clear. Even when I wish I could plead ignorance, He makes it impossible through the plainness of His words.
Philip1:27 (NIV) Whatever happens, conduct yourself in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.
The Message version reads “Meanwhile, live in such a way that you are credited to the Message of Christ. Let nothing in your conduct hang on whether I come or not. Your conduct must be the same whether I show up to see things for myself or hear of it from a distance.”
“Whatever happens”, “Meanwhile” as life goes on and distress comes I must conduct myself right before God at all times and I will know that I am doing so only when I feel more alive, more concern, am more sensitive, more reverent, and more passionate during and after the difficult or painful times. Only by letting go of the bitterness and pain can I truly draw closer to God.
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Since those first days, I have made it out of the Projects, finished my Masters degree in International Development, and moved to DC to work in my field. As a young single Christian woman my struggles today are a little different than they were when I first came to know God, but who am I kidding, not much. It's the every day battle for my heart to be pure before God, to strive to please him, and help others to seek and know Him.
Over my years of a faithful walk with God I have received much grace and compassion and have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams. Through out it all one thing has stayed consistent: God's word. Through His word I have been inspired and it has kept me faithful even when faith seemed like a foreign concept and God seemed deaf to my prayers. I started emailing my Quiet Times which helped me stay accountable as I shared my struggles and fought for understanding. Some wrote back and said they too were inspired and could relate. I hope some of my times can help inspire others who are seeking and fighting just like I am, to get to heaven and take as many as possible with me along the way.
Like what your read? Check out my blog: http://stronggirlforlife.wordpress.com/
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