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Do you find it difficult to love the unlovable? Is it difficult to love the difficult?

In a conversation with a dear friend a few years ago, the subject of workplace environment came up. This person had worked for a very large corporation for many years, had one boss, and generally the same companion workers for many years. We were lamenting the almost war-like environment that exists in many work places today. My friend was appalled when I described some of the true accounts that I was familiar with at the time. It was beyond my friend's comphension that such conditions could exist.

My friend's boss and employer for many decades still maintained contact, frequently. They were still very good friends. There had never been office conflicts, politics, grudges, hostility, employee entrapments, undercutting, etc. They, those in my friends office atmosphere, were then - and still were - good friends. In many work environments today, hostility would be an understatement. Unlovable would be a gross understatement. For someone to be loveable would be absurd. Some of you reading these words - perhaps many of you - live and work every workday in a very, very unlovable, even hostile atmosphere, with very unlovable people. If you are a Christian, your road is not easy. Your cross can be very heavy to bear, and still follow Jesus Christ. How can you possible love someone that unlovable?

First, keep in mind the origin of their unloveableness. Often, they do not really know where they are coming from. Not that they are not conscious of doing what they are doing, but they do not know why - the real why. You as Christ's representative before them, must somehow keep focused on the value of that individual as seen through the eyes of God and Christ. They are created in God's image. But that image is distorted, twisted out of the shape which God intended them to be. It may not altogether be "their fault", but they are accountable, although they may not understand that. You are also accountable for your attitude and actions toward their accountability, and you probably do know that.

Look past the immediate, the obvious, to what they could be. Perhaps God has set you there, not only for your sake, what you can learn and grow in, but also for their sake - and for Christ sake. Regardless of what they say or do to you, remember that they have been blinded by the darkness in their mind and heart, and the darkness of a dark world. Pray that God will send the spirit of peace into the environment, and to rebuke the wrong spiritual influence there. Stay with it. Do not give up after a prayer or two. Keep in your mind what Jesus said of those who were killing Him. "Father forgive them, for they don not know what they are doing." { Luke 23:34)

This truth was driven home to me on one occasion involving two employees. In a particular office enviornement that I am familiar with, tthere was one man who was very antagonistic toward another. While working on a project together, for various reasons he became very angry with the other. The confrontation esculated to the point of very loud and profane words. He stood on his toes, toe to toe, face to face with the other screaming threats and profanity. The other man - not a professed Christian - stood and folded his arms tightly about himself for restraint from responding violently. They just stood there for some time - one screaming in the other's face, trying desperately to provoke the other into a violent move so that he could accuse the one with folded arms. The man continued folding his arms, not saying a word. Eventually, the angry man just gave up, and walked away. Those who witnessed the occurance said they had never seen such self control by someone who was provoked so strongly. All by a man who was not a Christian.

Granted, this is probably very rare. But it illustrates many truths. Perhaps the self controlled man did not "love" the other in the Spirit. But he showed an example of what Christians should exibit by God's love in action through the Holy Spirit. A similiar truth is illustrated by the incident of Jesus healing of the Centurion's son. A non-Chrisrian who exibited amazing faith - greater than any the Lord had seen in Israel. Sometimes we who profess Christ and claim to know and to be known of Him are put to shame by the unconverted who do not know Him.

Perhaps the most difficult thing for you to do is not to retaliate. Retaliation is pouring gasoline on an already raging fire. Even if you get even in your own eyes, you probably have not convinced the other. The old adage "he that is convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still" is often very true. It has the tendency to escalate, undermining the chance for creating some type of basis for peace.

I am familiar with an incident involving two high school age girls, who had been very close friends. In some way they became very angry and antagonistic with each other. One of them happened to attend a church night service where the sermon was about forgiveness. The next school day, this girl went to her friend and said she was in the sorry. The irony here was that she was not in the wrong. But for the cause of friendship and peace between them, she said she was sorry. She did not accuse her friend anymore, nor did she admit in dishonesty that she had been wrong. But at least there was now a basis for reconciliation. She had turn her cheek. She had gone the extra mile.

In all cases of dealing with the seemingly unlovable, you must not become another unlovable. Looking past the present to a time when everything will be different by God's grace, is imperative. Things can change. Things will change. In the meantime, do the right thing now, trusting God with the time and place for the change He will make happen if you will do your part in the equation of loving the unlovable. Ask God to grant you the humility and wisdom not to be drawn into the game of "one-up-man-ship". Be patient, and wait.

There are no guarantees in human conduct and relationships. All must some day give an account to their Creator, but if you will do your part in God's sight, the unlovable could become a loveable one for you.

"Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good; seek, inquire for, and crave peace and pursue (go after) it! The eyes of the Lord are toward the [uncompromisingly] righteous and His ears are open to their cry". - Psalm 34:13-15

"Bible verse and quote" from Jan Couns

Bible and Quote - February 25 - March 1