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Point of Reference
by Fred Price
Maintaining successful relationships can be difficult, the Bible being the place to learn how to develop them to the highest degree. But there is scripture that seems contrary in it’s depiction of our relationship to God in comparison to the love we have for our families, friends, and the world in general. It actually seems to encourage us to be antagonistic with many and to disregard those we love. Taken individually that might be the case but as in any serious study of scripture, when all the related references are taken into consideration, we get a deeper, more balanced picture of what God would have us understand and a fuller sense of what he expects of us.
Consider: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters – yes, even his own life – he cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:25,26
Isn’t that contrary to the 5th commandment? (Exodus 20:12) Could that put us in danger of the punishment described in Exodus 21:17? Both of which Jesus quoted in dealing with questions aimed at him by unbelievers when he exclaimed, “You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions!” (Mark 7:9) So how could he encourage us here to hate our families?
In answering a young man’s question concerning goodness, Jesus quoted the prohibitions against murder, adultery, stealing, being a false witness and cheating along with the admonition to honor one’s father and mother (Mark 10:18,19); proving it wasn’t his intent to teach contrary to this command of God in the Old Testament. Perhaps a fuller revelation of his meaning being found in Matthew 10:37. “Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,…” This scripture dealing with how it may appear to others if and when we ever have to make a choice between friends and family and God’s will for our lives. We suddenly appear holier-than-thou, traitorous and uncaring. In fact, Jesus may have appeared to be doing just that in the incident recorded in Matthew 12:46-50. Scripture relating how, “When Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him.” Those about him pointed out their presence, to which he replied, “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
Was he intentionally slighting his family – or was it a declaration of family bonds among all believers? (Contention due to this very issue being found in Mark 3:20,21,6:1-6) Jesus warning us of just such a possibility when he said, “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword – for I have come to turn ‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law – a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’” Matthew 10:34-36. But that is merely the reality of the situation at times – NEVER the goal. For even if we are forced to choose God over family we are NEVER given permission to show disrespect! And if separation occurs, through their complete un-acceptance of our decision to follow Christ, we are then promised a “surrogate” family through the church. Jesus promising, “…no one who has left home or brothers or sister or mother or father or children or fields for me and for the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (home, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields…) and in the age to come, eternal life.” Mark 10:29,30
This line of thought applies to our whole outlook concerning life and God’s will for us. Matthew, Luke and John all dealing with this subject, each from a little different perspective; combined giving us the total picture. As a whole, they declare that whoever finds his life’s expression in self-will, loving himself above all else, trying at all costs to preserve himself – will fail. But he who loses his life in the cause of others, whether in actual death or in “losing” our preference by doing something different at God’s request – will find it. He who “hates” his life, who gives up what has been dreamed and prepared for; who trades what he thinks he has for what God provides – will discover a deeply challenging yet overwhelmingly satisfying life in its place. (Matthew 10:38, Luke 17:33, John 12:25) Jesus specifically saying, “…whoever serves me must follow me;…” John 12:26 (Consider the rich young ruler of Matthew 10:20,21. It wasn’t that he couldn’t serve Jesus as a rich man but that for him, being rich would be an impediment to serving Jesus fully. He was asked to give up what he thought he had but could so easily lose to gain what he really craved and only God could give.)
A Christian lifestyle demands that we turn our back on the enticements of the world and find a better way in Christ (1 John 2:15-17); living the life the gospel depicts “saving” us on a number of levels. The crux of the issue summed up in the questions, “What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet lose his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?” Mark 8:36,37
Check back next week to consider some answers to these questions.
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Fred Price - married (50 years), father of two grown children, grandfather of six.
Fred retired earlier this year after 42 years as a factory worker. He has always had a heart for young people and the challenges they face today. Over the years Fred has taught Discipleship Groups for High School and college students.
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