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Why? More to the point: How can we be salt and light in the world if we seclude ourselves from it? (Matthew 5:13-16) The answer, at least in part, being that exercising caution in our relationships is not about avoiding all contact with the word (See 1 Corinthians 5:9,10) but in guarding ourselves from over-exposure to the evil to be found there. As in, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.” Proverbs 22:24,25 It’s really about the level of intimacy we share with non-Christians.

But how can we effectively relate to people without developing genuine relationships with them? Scripture does say, “Don’t be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.” Romans 12:16 (Which I think could equally apply to people who disagree with us, who are different from us, or even those who believe something other than we do.) But associating with non-Christians is different than being intimately involved with them. (On a number of levels.)

The Apostle Paul, who associated with all kinds of people in his life and ministry, insisted that we, “…not be misled…” or “deceived.” (Galatians 6:7) “Bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33 Because constantly being in the company of unbelievers is dangerous, as they often convince us to compromise our principles before ever considering changing their own. It can be done, but very carefully; and never in our own power. At some point, if and when it becomes apparent they’re comfortable being who they are and are merely tolerating your “differentness”, it may be time to cut the cord and move on. Again, why? Because the longer the relationship goes on, the greater the tendency for us to sympathize so thoroughly with who they are and what they do that we begin to excuse their behavior; becoming enablers instead of challenging them to be something more and better; at times sharing in their questionable lifestyle and compromising our witness altogether. (Especially alarming are the instances when we actually prefer the company of unbelievers to believers.)

Paul emphatically explaining it this way, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.” (For the same reason Deuteronomy 22:10 cautions against harnessing an ox and donkey together to plow with. They’re incompatible temperamentally and physically – unable to pull at the same pace or in the same way; actually inflicting damage on one another – not to mention doing a poor job of plowing – even if unintentionally, because of those incompatibilities.) “For what do righteousness and wickedness haven in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness.? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? (the devil) What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?” 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 (Certainly the need of a Savior, but at some point a “friends” persistence in intentional non-conformity to Christ should probably cause us to separate from them, if not completely then to a safe degree.)

That seems intolerant by today’s standards, but there has always been a certain amount of tension between ministering to the lost of the world and removing ourselves from its influences. (See John’s warning in 1 John 2:15,16)”For we were once darkness, but now (we) are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth). Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.” Ephesians 5:8,9 & 11 Distinguishing between the “deeds of darkness” and the people committing them at times being very difficult to do.

The truth of the matter being, “…(we) were dead in (our) transgressions and sins; in which (we) used to live when (we) followed the way of this world. All of us lived among them at one time, gratifying the craving of our sinful nature and following its desire and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead…” Ephesians 2:1-5 His purpose being to save us from ourselves – the sin that separates and condemns us in his presence; our purpose now being to serve him in thanksgiving and obedience. “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10 Part of which is establishing a basis for true friendship with others through Christ.

Paul then goes on to characterize us as “the temple of God.” ( 2 Corinthians 6:16 & 1 Corinthians 6:19); which is another source of tension in the Christian life. Being spirit-filled even as we struggle with the remnants of a sin-nature. (The reason for Paul’s wretchedness expressed so eloquently in Romans 7:15-25) Some would question the reality of a still-functioning sin-nature in a Christian’s life. But John emphatically says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. (However) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:8,9 He does then go on to say, “No one who is born of God will continue to sin…” 1 John 3:9 Not setting an impossible-to-achieve standard of absolute sinlessness after our conversion, but asserting we will no longer purposefully or cavalierly live a sin-filled life. The Hebrew writer explaining that, “If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sin is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment.” Hebrews 10:26,27

The problem being that even though we are no longer controlled by our sinful nature but by the Spirit (Romans 8:4-9), we are still subject to temptation; especially when we are in close contact with something we have been and/or are still attracted to. Paul describing its affects as similar to yeast, which “…works through the whole batch of dough.” Galatians 5:9 (Jesus alluding to the same dangers in associating with “undesirables” of another stripe in Matthew 16:5-12.) Making it imperative to be on guard and protect ourselves – as much as is practical and possible – from over-exposure to contrary ideas and actions.

The significance of our being “God’s temple” by virtue of the Holy Spirit’s indwelling us and the dire consequences of “destroying” or – at the very least – compromising its function in our lives is stated in 1 Corinthians 3:16 “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Sprit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him, for God’s temple is sacred, and you are that temple.” (Ephesians 4:30 cautioning against “grieving” the Holy Spirit while 1 Thessalonians 5:19 warns against putting out its “fire”. Hebrews 6:4-6 & 2 Peter 2:19-21 pronouncing a truly frightening judgment on those who, “…have once been enlightened… (and) shared in the Holy Spirit…” – “…escap(ing) the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ… (but who are) again entangled in it and overcome,…”)

Let me reiterate that I am not saying we should have nothing to do with the unsaved of the world. Our journey with the Lord only starts with his invitation to “Come, follow me.” (Matthew 4:19 & 16:24); culminating in his directive to, “…go and make disciples of all nations,…” (Matthew 28:19) Our solace and rescue from the same duality of mind that Paul struggled with coming from the same place he found the strength and ability to overcome, as “…in my mind (I) am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin… What a wretched man I am! Who (then) will rescue me…? Thanks be to God… Jesus Christ our Lord!” Romans 7:24,25

"The Way" from Kevin Pauley

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