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Chip Shots from the Ruff of Life

    by Tom Kelley

August 16, 2018

Just the other day, while coming back from Lexington, I saw a bumper sticker on the back of an SUV. It posed what, I'm sure, the driver thought was a rhetorical question. In other words, the answer to the question was so obvious that it was a slam dunk the reader would get it right. The question was, "Who would Jesus bomb?" A "no brainer," right? I mean, after all, Jesus came "that the world, through Him, might be saved. (John 3:17) Why would Jesus bomb the very people He wants to save? Add to that, the very nature of a bomb blast is so inhumane that…  ( Click for more )

August 9, 2018

Just this past evening I followed a woman with a car full of people and a rather dubious bumper sticker on her rear bumper. "If you think Education is Expensive - Try Ignorance!!!" I then watched her as she made her way across Long Lick Road. Long Lick Road (State Route 32) is a meandering highway that is rife with hills and dips. Blind rises abound and passing zones are all but nonexistent.

As I followed the woman I began to realize that she was taking her own bumper sticker to heart; she was trying ignorance. The very root of the word ignorance is the concept of struggling…  ( Click for more )

August 2, 2018

Back in the late 80's I attended a seminar in which the leader asked a very interesting question. "If you know everything that other people know who are successful in their fields could you do their job?" He proceded to show us a number of examples which illustrated that even to the point of shoving a straw through a potatoe. He then demonstrated a very important truth.

The word "try" should not be in our vocabulary. He set a chair in front of us and called a volunteer to come and help him. He then stood and looked at the chair and told us, "This is not picking up a chair."…  ( Click for more )

July 26, 2018

Last evening I was reminded of my days working for the Fayette County Highway Department in Ohio. No, I didn't see a dump truck or a road crew or a grater. Last evening I had a sharp pain in my left achilles tendon. I hadn't had a pain there in quite some time. The reason I have those pains periodically is due to an incident while working with the Fayette County Highway Department.

We were assigned to fill burms one day. That was a task which required a piece of machinery called a burm box and three workers. The burm box was a slanted hopper with a gate on the low end which…  ( Click for more )

July 19, 2018

"You can't see the forest for the trees." Ah, yes. Those pithy sayings that carry the weight of the knowledge of generations. The one I just shared with you is one that is applicable for someone who just simply doesn't seem to see the obvious. Notice, we usually apply this to someone other than ourselves. After all, we see all things clearly. At least I do.

Consider the father who observes three teenaged sons with multiple piercings and colored hair and more tatoos than skin to hold them. One is his, one is a friend's, one belongs to who knows who. The unknown one is out…  ( Click for more )

July 12, 2018

"Houston we have a problem." Those words signaled the beginning of difficulties for Apollo 13. The crew radioed NASA and informed them of various malfunctions that were happening. Being separated from help by miles upon miles and cast into the vastness of space left many of the crew with a sense of hopelessness. One of them commented later that he was sure that they were doomed to drift in space until they died.

Twenty-four years ago I realized I had a problem. I had just drifted aimlessly through a complete year of college at Johnson Bible College with no goal in sight and…  ( Click for more )

July 5, 2018

Ward Cleaver always appeared from work just as starched and clean as he could be. Who is Ward Cleaver? Ward was the Beaver's dad in "Leave It To Beaver". He was played by a charming actor named Hugh Beaumont. He was the epitome of fatherhood along with Robert Young during the 60's. However, that was the not the father I often saw return from work.

My dad worked at a feed mill run by a conglomerate known as Opekasit. The feed mill was located in South Solon, Ohio, about seven miles from Jeffersonville. When dad got home from work he often smelled of a mixture of sweat and…  ( Click for more )

June 28, 2018

Back in the mid 60's there were a number of us in my home town of Jeffersonville, Ohio, who were devoted to sports in general and baseball in particular. During the late Spring, through the Summer and on into the warmer days of Fall, we played baseball. But the public diamonds in town were so heavily scheduled that we could not play on them. Kenny Houseman, a farmer/businessman in the town, gave us some land on the north edge of town just over the bridge on 729. He owned the field and had farmed it. It became our ballfield.

Our little group of somewhere around fifteen guys…  ( Click for more )

June 21, 2018

There he was standing on the seventeenth green at Shinnecock poised to take a place in history few men have taken. A simple downhill four and a half foot putt stood between him and being tied for the lead at the U. S. Open Golf Championship going into the final hole. Three putts later Phill Mickelson walked off the green dejected and two strokes back of a very steady playing South African named Retief Goosen.

Goosen had already won an Open title. His playing partner for the day, Ernie Els, also South African, had won two. But Phil had the chance to win the first two legs of…  ( Click for more )

June 14, 2018

Modern technology is wonderful but sometimes frustrating. Repeated attempts to log on yesterday were met with warnings that my computer had done something illegal. I kept thinking that someone was going to burst through the door at any minute and arrest my computer. I finally decided that Thursday morning was just not going to happen for me and the internet.

We have several landline connections for phones in our house. There are four phones serving our home right now and each one is a marvel of technology. With caller id, call back features, redial, stored phone books, ad…  ( Click for more )

June 7, 2018

Being in the ministry has its ups and downs. One of them is the trust factor of the people you serve. Many times, as a new minister in a congregation, I have not been told about problems people are having until the problems have intensified. But, then I find out that a former minister, who is still in the general area, knew about it and had called them and prayed with them.

A few years ago that situation repeated itself for me. I was the new man in and a minister, several years removed from the church, saw me and asked me how one of our people was doing. I responded with a…  ( Click for more )

"A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet." This little statement is probably familiar to most of us because of what it declares. No matter what you call something it is still going to have that certain air. A rose's scent is a dead giveaway that the flower you are smelling is a rose. How's this? "A skunk by any other name will still make you gack." How did that hit you? Good or bad, things are what they are. They are identifiable. They are plain. They are familiar enough that we have no doubt what they are; until it comes to the things of…  ( Click for more )

May 24, 2018

Tomorrow is coming. That phrase can be filled with hope or it can be filled with dread. What tomorrow holds can be something wonderful or it can be something horrible. Tomorrow can be a day of great joy or it can be a day of great sorrow. During this time of the year, tomorrow is a time to scratch an itch. Here in the Bluegrass the weather is trying to "fair up" and that usually means one thing; GOLF!!! Yep, you're seeing that right. All the games of Zilch, Hands and Feet and, yes, even Texas Hold'em are not quite as satisfying as being on the fairway (hopefully) hitting…  ( Click for more )

May 17, 2018

When I was a child playing Little League Baseball I can remember our coach at the end of each practice. He would take a ball and throw it as high and straight up in the air as he could for each one of us to catch. He was helping us to practice catching pop-ups. The pop-up is one of the trickiest plays to make in baseball. And now, thanks to the world wide web, it has become one of the trickiest plays to make while online.

Pop-ups are an aggrevation. You do know what a pop-up is? It is one of those advertisements which suddenly intrudes right in the middle of your session…  ( Click for more )

Back in the early 80s my family and I got to be part of a church plant in upstate New York. We were called to the town of Cortland, about forty minutes south of Syracuse, to be the first on site minister and family for the Cortland Valley Church of Christ. The preliminary event to receiving the call to go there was a two week visit in early 1980. During that time I got to stay with a dear friend, Barton Howard, the former minister of my home church and the man who baptized me into Christ. I have a long history with his family as I used to be their babysitter while they were in…  ( Click for more )

May 3, 2018

My wife, Becky, is an amazing woman. The smartest thing I ever did, aside from accepting Christ as my Savior, was to marry her. My children agree. She recently turned sixty. She doesn't look it. She still has the glow of youth about her; at least that's the way I see her, and, again, my children agree along with the grandchildren. I decided that I wanted to throw her a great big celebration for her birthday and have people come that she wouldn't expect. Parties like that are a lot of work, but my children said they would help so we forged ahead with the plans.

The biggest…  ( Click for more )

April 26, 2018

Long trips are a mixed bag for me. Some are absolutely refreshing while others are a drain. Trips with my wife are wonderful. We always talk practically the whole way there and back. Trips by myself are the ones that can be a drag. Having to sit in a car for a long trip with just me can be taxing. I don't know how my wife does it.

There is a little mind game I play with myself when I am travelling by my lonesome. I will segment the trip into mileage bytes. For instance, I know how long it takes me to go from my home to Lexington or Cincinnati. I look over the trip I am…  ( Click for more )

April 19, 2018

Words always fascinate me. They can mean a number of things, all seemingly different, and, yet, oddly the same. One word that has interested me recently is the word, "terminal." While many of the applications refer to boundaries and beginning or end points, one refers to an assemblage of facilities for repair, maintenance and care of trains. As a former model railroader I had a terminal on my layout where I parked my engines and extra cars. It was representative of those units receiving care so they could continue to function as they were intended.

In the past few…  ( Click for more )

April 12, 2018

"Where did they all come from?" my wife asked as she looked out the back door at the scene in our back yard. I had called her to the door to see a flock of starlings that had landed in our back yard. It was quite amazing. They just suddenly appeared and almost completely turned the ground black with their bodies. I just happened to be near the back door when it happened or it would have come and gone without my wife or I noticing. But, back to my wife's question, "Where did they come from?" I responded, "Little eggs, I think."

Howard Cossell…  ( Click for more )

April 5, 2018

My oldest son is serving in Christian camp this week just a half hour down the road. He was the one asked to speak last night for the worship time for the campers so my wife and I went over to hear him speak. While there we met Gene and Pat White. They are originally from the North Central Ohio area as well as having served ministries in the Central Kentucky area. We know a lot of the same people.

And they knew Earl Swank. Earl Swank was from North Central Ohio and an Associate Minister at the Southland Christian Church near Lexington, Kentucky. He served there under Wayne…  ( Click for more )

March 29, 2018

This past Sunday was the 150th Anniversary of the Minorsville Christian Church. The congregation I have the rich privilege to serve is steeped in history and accomplishments which, though not monumental, are important. The ministers in the church's history are a wonderful group of men who have served their Lord with a certain measure of distinction. One of those who has served well has a rather distinct name.

Ivan Odor. The first time I ever read that name or heard it I chuckled. Ivan has not only served his Lord well he has raised sons who are currently serving their Lord…  ( Click for more )

March 22, 2018

The mirror in our bathroom has an interesting frame. Instead of being framed by something traditional like wood or metal, or not having any frame at all, it is framed by a two inch strip of beveled mirror. It makes for a rather striking appearance adding a nice touch to a room that is traditionally the second most used room in the house.

The other morning while standing near the mirror while dressing, I noticed something rather predictable on my white tee shirt. The narrow strip of beveled mirror frame had refracted the light from the bathroom window and made a rainbow effect…  ( Click for more )

March 15, 2018

Shingles. We all know what they are, right? They're those pieces of asphalt that are nailed to our roofs to keep the moisture out and protect the house. Shingles are good. They are our friends in that they provide a covering for us. I used to work with a roofer/sider and got a very up close and personal look at shingles. There were many days when my main job was to make sure that my boss did not run out of the shingles he needed to finish roofing the house on which we were working. That meant trips up and down the ladder sometimes for me carrying him his precious cargo. Shingles.…  ( Click for more )

March 8, 2018

Thursday evening, as I rushed through the house, I turned the TV on to check the action at the Memorial Golf Tournament. The Memorial is one of my favorite tournaments. It was begun by Jack Nicklaus on the Muirfield Village Golf Course in Dublin, Ohio just outside his home town of Columbus. I have had the privilege to not only attend the tournament in years past but also to cover it for a local newspaper in Bellville, Ohio while we were living there.

When the TV came on with the tournament I could here a noisy hum. I thought to myself, "ESPN must be using some of their old…  ( Click for more )

March 1, 2018

A week ago today my wife and I were walking on the beach at North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. We like to hold hands. (As Professor Andy Dale used to say, that's one less free hand they can hit you with) As we walked the beach we held hands and waded in and out of the surf as the waves came in and lapped at the shoreline. Then we saw her.

She was walking rather briskly down the beach towards us. Her eyes were intently fixed on us. She was smiling as she came toward us. She stopped us there on the beach and told us that it was good to see an older couple walking and holding…  ( Click for more )

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