Subscription Lists
Quiet Time
by Kasia Kedzia
Sometimes, I don’t think before I speak. I tend to speak my mind, literally- a thought pops into my mind and then comes out of my mouth. Sometimes this is good. It means I say what most people in a given situation where thinking anyway but were afraid to say. Sometimes I state the obvious, and as a result I am often described as a “truth teller” or as someone who “calls it like it is.” But what I realized is that sometimes my words and speech are not deliberate and some of my “truths” are just plain pointless. If my purpose is to glorify… ( Click for more )
I’m currently suspended in life. What I mean by that is that at this time last week I knew exactly where I would be and what I would be doing this week (or at least I thought I did). This week is here and I am not where I thought I would be. I am not in the country I thought I would be in, I’m not in the job I thought I would be in, and I am literally faced with living day to day not knowing what to expect or what is coming next. On top of that, I got hit with a tax audit that is exponential. If this would have happened to me a few months ago my immediate reaction would… ( Click for more )
The way I think about people has a direct effect on my joy, peace and own fulfillment. I spent an entire week just being critical and judgmental of people in my life. I can always point out the faults and short comings in others and by the end of this past week God decided to point out that this is exactly what I have been doing. This was the reason why I was getting all worked up for no good reason. Those closest too me never sees to wonder how I can get worked up over hypothetical situations, but in all honesty, I think we can all do this to an extent – I just tend to do it… ( Click for more )
Stress is yet another way fear manifests itself in my life. When I stress out I get anxious and my controlling nature emerges in full force. In my life stress can often be the result of trying to control a situation which I can not handle. In my case, God provides plenty of such situations. Sometimes I think he just likes to see me squirm, but then I realize it’s just his way of pushing me to have more faith.
Mark4:38-41 (NIV) 35That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." 36Leaving the crowd behind, they took him… ( Click for more )
I have been facing some of my fears as they have been exhibiting themselves in different forms in my life this past week. One morning I woke up and just felt scared. I felt guilty and inadequate and wasn’t sure if God could really use me. For some reason on this particular morning I woke up dwelling on some past lost battles which I felt I had lost. I don’t know what exactly triggered it but I do know that the fear I felt was very real. God spoke to my heart through the following verses in 1Corinthians. I don’t know why this week more so than any other my fears… ( Click for more )
On Sunday evening I was sure I would be sharing this week's column on contentment and my recent victory in it. Then I woke up and it was Monday and I was sent running back to the scripture which reassured me so much in the previous week of how this contentment thing really works- when it’s actually put to the test.
Romans 5:2-5 (Mssg) 2And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us.
I have often pictured myself facing multiple doors. I thought, “Open the wrong door and that’s… ( Click for more )
I never really had tantrums as a child, but I have had many a spiritual tantrum as a Christian. I’m just stubborn and can distrust God’s love for me. I lose sight of his mercy and take his grace for granted. As I look back at the past few weeks, even months, it is only know that I can see how God has always been there even when I was fighting Him.
Psalm73 (NIV) 21 When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, 22 I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. 23 Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
My friend recently shared… ( Click for more )
It takes genuine courage to trust God. It’s a lot easier to just be a coward because cowardice behavior is generally more acceptable and excusable. Trusting God can be like a Trust Fall, which I have done many times in activities with my peers, as well as trainees in my field of work. You blindfold a person and have them fall backwards into someone’s arms. As I have myself participated in this I remember feeling completely over-confident when I first tipped from my heals and began to tumble backwards, but how quickly my confidence was shattered when my body began to… ( Click for more )
Matt14:22-33 (The Message) 22As soon as the meal was finished, he insisted that the disciples get in the boat and go on ahead to the other side while he dismissed the people. 23With the crowd dispersed, he climbed the mountain so he could be by himself and pray. He stayed there alone, late into the night. 24Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves.
I have been studying out desire and coping with pain. When our bible discussion focused on this particular passage of scripture this week it brought a lot of… ( Click for more )
I have been brought back to the well this past week. One of my favorite passages in John has always been the story of the Samaritan woman in John 4. Most people are more than familiar with this story but often I feel like we don’t live it out. I am faced with choices every day- the choice to chose the living water vs. the well water. Many times I can go back to the well instead of going to Jesus to the living water.
10Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living… ( Click for more )
"Jesus has left the building!" I have these types of moments. Moments where I simply want to leave Jesus at the door, walk in and do what I want to do or more like rule the way I think is fit. This usually happens when I am upset and want to hurt someone physically. I feel angry or hurt or I feel like injustice has been done. I feel what I know is true; I have no control over the present situation. In those moments I want to open the door to my heart and kindly ask Jesus to skooch out for a few minutes, "please turn away, and let me do some damage and I will be more… ( Click for more )
Most of us don’t really understand the concept of sacrifice. I’m pretty sure I don’t. When I was in High School I was already living on my own and had to work on weekends to save money for collage, in collage I supported myself and again had to work a lot. Long hours of study and work as well as pressure to succeed and simply survive resulted in a restricted social life. I felt like I was making the necessary sacrifices. As I finished school and began working, the pursuit of my career has resulted in a lot of moves and travel making it hard to settle down or get… ( Click for more )
In a scene at the end of the movie, Raising Helen, an angry aunt storms a hotel room on Prom Night looking for her niece. As she scolds the young man in the room and leaves him quivering in fear she swings around for one last comment, “I just want you to know you are not a bad person but what you are doing is very, very bad!” Audience erupts in laughter, but there is something to that line.
None of us think we are bad people, but we do bad things all the time--hurtful things, selfish things. We hurt those around us and ourselves as a result. This past week, a few… ( Click for more )
In passing someone recently said that life is filled with endings. The truth of this statement brought me into a state of sadness. There have been so many endings in my life and one approaches as I am down to my last month in Sudan. Most of the time when I think of endings they are not happy memories. Yet the more I thought of this the more I began to see how necessary endings are and when thought of from a spiritual perspective, I really began to see their necessity. All adventures have to come to an end; to learn from them I must let chapters end in order for new ones to begin.… ( Click for more )
I was walking down a street in Khartoum the other day, a bit zoned out, when a smiling friendly face appeared in the crowd, and I heard “Hey Kasia!” It gave me such a warm and peaceful feeling. The voice belonged to Rebecca, one of the girls I go to church with out here. I was really filled with joy to see her. It’s one thing to run into someone you know when you are in a familiar place, but when you are in a foreign place it is all the more special.
Human beings are such relational creatures. We need other people so much. We need our support network. These… ( Click for more )
A Haboub for those who aren't familiar with the term, or the Sudan for that matter, is a fear inspiring term that means one thing: SAND STORM. Now in my time here I have seen light versions of dust in the air that look like a thick fog and taste, well, like sand. But they were nothing like what I experienced the other day. There is nothing like a good, old fashion natural phenomena to reveal God’s power and leave one in awe.
At approximately 7:00pm the sun was still shining bright as I glanced out the window. I got ready to leave and as I barely blinked the sky turned… ( Click for more )
Being alone in a foreign country for a period of time can make one quite raw. Time and new experiences can reveal many things, things forgotten or otherwise avoidable. I have recently become aware of pains that are lodged deep in my heart that I only seem to become aware of when new pains hit in the same place. When I was younger, a friend's parent, in the heat of anger and argument, once told me, “No one will ever love you once they really know you.” When I was about 15 I confessed my love to a boy who turned around and said, “Well, I don’t love you!”… ( Click for more )
I went to my first Internally Displaced People (IDP) camp this week. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I was still unprepared for the experience emotionally. As we drove off a major road the short mud walls and houses, some partially thatched with cardboard or tin plats, stretched far across the emptiness. Across the street, cargo trains were piled from near by industrial work. People pass this camp every day; it is not hidden or in a remote place. It is but an hour outside of a major city and there are thousands of people there. Heck I was even stunned that buses come… ( Click for more )
I was reading a devotional recently and it ended with the following quote, “The Person that will hurt you most in life is you.” This has been a self -fulfilling prophesy in my life recently. I often underestimate the battle between good and evil. I tried to explain to a non-believing friend how this battle looks. I told him that if he began seeking God many things would begin to happen that had nothing to do with him directly, but were more related to the battle for his soul. It didn’t take long before he was attacked. However, I underestimated the attack on… ( Click for more )
I sat down one morning this week at a loss, my head was racing with thoughts that I could not harness and I realized that I was angry. I started to look through some of the lessons and bible discussions people had sent me and, ironically enough, the two I chose to read were both in the book of Daniel. I took that as God's way of telling me I should read that book.
I remember being a young Christian and reading the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and being truly amazed by their faith. However, I have forgotten a very important passage since that first time I read it.… ( Click for more )
Funny thing with repentance, it’s never easy. The second you make a decision and you decide to really stick to it the attacks come- rumors, doubts. You can think over every action, every word said and unsaid and run circumstances over in your mind til they look just like you want them to or until they make you feel what you want. Sometimes circumstances just are what they are and no matter how hard I think through them or alter them in my mind, I can not change them. Fighting these thoughts takes decision and commitment to have faith. It takes strength beyond my own. It takes… ( Click for more )
Being away in a foreign place can bring about feelings of loneliness to a new heightened degree. The loneliness is not obvious at first, it just sort of creeps in little by little til you find yourself asking, “wait, why did I just do that?… ( Click for more )
There is a show in the U.S. called "Pimp My Ride." The show is about people who get a car makeover. Basically, their old, run down car gets completely redone inside and out, everything from a new engine to a pool in the trunk. Since the show started there have even been rumored spin off shows such as "Pimp My Cubical." Why do I bring this random show up since I am in a foreign country with no television? Well, it came to mind as I studied out 2 Corinthians 5 recently.
2Cor5:1-21 (NIV) 1Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed,… ( Click for more )
There are moments, split second hesitation moments, when I feel like God has left me or forgotten me. In my mind I know this is not true, but in my heart I can doubt and question. It's not a matter of not being in control as it is a feeling of helplessness. At this point the decision to choose to find comfort in God and not people can be an all-out battle. No matter what is happening around me I have to ask myself, "Can I hold on to the promises of heaven and God's love?" Is it (whatever it may be) well with my soul?
I came to Sudan with the hope of being able to… ( Click for more )
Receive the newest devotional each week in your inbox by joining the "Quiet Time" subscription list. Enter your email address below, click "Go!" and we will send you a confirmation email. Follow the instructions in the email to confirm your addition to this list.